Hitting the Wall

When attempting to approach even the smallest societal problems in this world, I find myself simultaneously faced with feelings of the pressing needs around me and my desire to create positive change and also the futility of my actions and efforts when there remains so much that will "never" change. This has especially been true during my time in Jordan and in my efforts to get this "Change Makers" program through the pilot phase.

I just hit the final week (3) of implementing my program, and have been faced with a number of successes and a whole lot of observations regarding room for improvement (I try not to say failures). While there have been a number of surface level problems regarding properly translating the instructions and the intent of the activities, I have come into even bigger problems regarding the skills necessary to undertake this kind of work. Unfortunately, it is not just the kids who are unable to think about how to create change, but the university student volunteers and a number of the adults.

The biggest thing that has struck me here (especially in the course of this program) is the overwhelming resignation towards the status quo. Whenever I asked kids what they could do about something they threw their hands up in frustration and said, "That's the way it is, you can't change it!" Problems ranging from excessive trash to rude neighbors to corporal punishment were all acknowledged as problems, but were all seen as impossible to improve or solve. Upon further prodding, the volunteers regularly told me that this was too hard for the kids and we just shouldn't worry about it. However, the whole point of the program was just to discuss these issues and start thinking about answers, they didn't need viable solutions for all the world's problems. So while we ended up with a lot of problems writen down on pieces of paper (or not for the volunteers who decided those instructions weren't important), very little was actually done to help the students begin thinking differently.

BUT, this does give me a lot of information to work with. Now, I better understand the problems related to problem solving in this country. I am hoping to begin putting together a plan for a more detailed program which would first run volunteers through it so that they can actually understand the goals and the tools necessary to address issues and to encourage the kids to think creatively.

I could go on, but I'll just give a quick update on my time here before I post this thing. I have 3 weeks left of my internship, after that I hope to travel to Syria for a week and then will be back in Amman on August 31st to start my study abroad program. I went to the Dead Sea last weekend, which was lovely except for the gash that I managed to procure on some rocks while trying to get all the mud off of myself without getting any water in my mouth (that stuff is nasty!). Unfortunately, a number of my friends from the summer are leaving this week, which means it's party time before they go, but also a bit of an ineresting transitional time as I get ready to shift to the fall and a new location and daily routine.