Ordinary Radical 412

A Summer with no Travel, Just Travelogues

2010-06-29T10:26:00.008-04:00

As anyone who has kept up with my rambling posts over the last 3 years knows, I tend to be inspired primarily when I am in a different country. Looking at last year's posts, the only thing that I wrote while in the US was about preparing for Jordan and was filled with pictures from my mountaineering trip to Mexico. The same holds true with pictures, I've taken somewhere around 10,000 pictures in the last 4 years, and would bet that less than 1,000 were taken in the States. Therefore, writing this summer has seemed a daunting task as I will not be leaving the country at any fully determined time in the near future (hopefully next summer, but it's hardly time to start preparing now).

So, without planning it, I have resorted to living vicariously through the travel exploits of others by reading a number of travelogues this summer that deal with all sorts of different travel experiences somewhat related to my own interests. The current list is as follows:

Tea With Hezbollah (Ted Dekker and Carl Medearis)
Grounded: A Down to Earth Journey Around the World (Seth Stevenson) (because I'm planning a similar around the world with no airplanes trip with my brother, Steve, but we plan to not do it with absolutely no time to see things and interact with people)
The Innocents Abroad (Mark Twain)
Hold the Enlightenment (Tim Cahill)

I've gotta say, travel literature both fascinates me and at times makes me incredibly angry or just disappointed with people in general (specifically Americans traveling overseas). I realize that I have committed many of the faux pas that I now scoff at, which in part adds to my unfounded momentary disdain for people writing travel literature, yet I'm sure that many people look at my silly stories and laugh at my own ignorance and naivety.

The main thing that irks me in travel literature is that most writers tend to be either scared at every turn when they travel, or they criticize everything they see. Dekker falls into the first category (as does Bill Bryson, which is why I couldn't finish A Walk in the Woods), although I admire the purpose of the trip in Tea With Hezbollah (to meet with America's enemies and look for good samaritans in the Middle East) and the insights which he draws out of his experiences.

Stevenson and Twain fall a bit more into the second category. Stevenson travels at breakneck speed around the world and his idea of experiencing a culture is to drink as much vodka as possible while crossing the Trans-Siberian Railway and all of Asia in under two weeks. Twain marvels at the novelty of distant shores, such as Tangier, yet goes on for pages about the savagery of the peoples and the inconvenience of having to carry his own soap. Most striking is the juxtaposition of Napoleon ("the brilliant adventurer...the genius of Energy, Persistence, Enterprise") and the "feeble" Turkish Sultan, Abdul-Aziz, who Twain describes as "the representative of a people by nature and training filthy, brutish, ignorant, unprogressive, and superstitious". Turns out Abdul-Aziz was a major modernizer and also a classical music composer, not quite given to "ignorance" and "indolence" as a first glance may suggest.

Finally, I just picked up for a second time a book of travel writing by Tim Cahill which my brother gave me for Christmas a couple years back. This is mostly to reassure myself that travel writing isn't all written for people who seek to have their own fears of the unknown affirmed by cynical and scared adventurers who seek comfort and safety in their journeys. Tim Cahill is a bit of a bad ass to put it bluntly. Most of his stories have some element of danger in them, or at the very least are engaging and interesting. Maybe it also helps that travel writing is his career, he has the art down, and writes for Outdoor magazine, a bit of an audience more up my alley.

A couple tips about travel writing from Cahill:

Rule 1: Avoid psychotic travel companions.
Rule 3: Exercise ordinary caution. Never, never, never put a marshmallow in your mouth and try to feed it to a bear.
Rule 6: Stop whining.
Rule 10: Don't follow rules. This is probably the most important rule.
Rule 11: Try the local foods. Eat what is put in front of you. Take the usual precautions, but expect to get sick anyway.
Rule 13: You are the foreigner, dickweed.
Rule 18: Wait until the last possible moment t punch out disagreeable traveling companions. It's best not to punch out traveling companions during the first two-thirds of a trip. The person may possess skills that could come in handy.
Rule 20: The worse the experience the better the story, therefore there are no bad experiences.

Very good rules. I think I'll try to apply them to my own travel and writing, and try to ignore some of the less agreeable parts of the other travelogues that I'm working through. Also, I've discovered that it is much more enjoyable to swap stories with other travelers (such as the marvelous Lori Baldwin, who just arrived back from her year long stint in Spain) or relive them with past companions than to indulge in the experiences of complete strangers. So if you have any stories to share, I'm all ears.

Stop - Blake Morrison

2010-05-03T18:09:00.004-04:00

I'll pretend that this is actually part of my research for my paper due on Thursday about Lebanese Confessionalism. This poem comes from a book called "Lebanon, Lebanon" which I read last November while I was in Lebanon and then checked out again for my current research. The book is about the 2006 war between Israel and Hezbollah, the poem is about the irony/tragedy of official tellings of war.

Stop

As of today, the peace process will be intensified

through war. These are safe bombs, and any fatalities

will be minors. The targets are strictly military

or civilian. Anomalies may occur, but none

out of the ordinary. This release has been prepared by

official Stop

First reports indicate a major break through

hospital roofs. the bombs were strictly targeted at

random personnel. Any errors are a mere blip

on the radar screen. Until our aim is achieved we will continue

missing. In modern war, mistakes are never made

official Stop

We can confirm that many personnel now enjoy peace,

underground. Several terrorists have been

created overnight. Our smart bombs are subject only to

intelligence errors. Certain one-off tragic events

will regrettably recur. We anticipate a stepping up

of funerals Stop

In another time-zone, the bombs fall unsafely.

There are reports of urgent talk under the rubble.

Numberless children lie accounted for in morgues.

Regrettably, we are unable to offer regrets today.

This poem has been subject to certain restrictions.

Stop.

On the Other Side of the Wall

2009-12-23T23:43:00.005-05:00

"You were in Jordan? Jordan is trash, King Abdullah is trash! Egypt is trashier, and Syria is even worse!" said Abdullah as he lounged against the 5 meter wall of graffiti covered concrete. "Lebanon is alright, but only because they support Hezbullah."

I point to the wall behind him which is being constructed illegally by Israel (according to the International Court of Justice, because it crosses the Green Line), "That's trash."

"This? No, this is good. This means that they're finished."

I had this conversation in Arabic about a week ago as I was traveling from Ramallah to Jerusalem (only a 30 minute trip) through a checkpoint in Israel's West-Bank Barrier. Abdullah went on to list all of the heroes he had which included Hezbullah (written above his head on the left), Hamas, Osama bin Laden and Al-Qaida. And although most Israelis and Americans would be scared of a youth with such role-models, Abdullah was a really nice guy, and his opinions make sense given his situation.

Besides his support of everyone on the US's list of terrorist organizations, what struck me most about the conversation was the blunt acceptance of reality that his opinion about the wall portrayed. I wrote a research paper about the economic effects of this barrier for a class this spring, and I must say I'm not a big fan of the way that Israel has constructed it, although the case for some sort of border fence may be legitimate. However, for someone who has grown up in the West Bank and had to live in "the world's biggest prison" (as a bit of graffiti on the wall put it), I suppose that it is logical that you would put up with one last injustice if it means that your enemy is finally going to stop advancing and leave you alone.

The wall may be a land grab, but if a just solution can actually come from it, then maybe it is in fact a better step than separate peaces. I don't really agree with Abdullah, but it has been awesome just being here and being able to talk to people like him who you meet on the street. His view isn't representative of anyone in particular, but that is his opinion, and one that is rarely heard in the media.

Also, it is a view that I would be completely unable to hear if I didn't speak Arabic. So that has been a really amazing part of my 7 months here, being able to communicate with people who just two years ago were completely beyond my ability to interact with beyond pantomime and the occasional "Hello, how are you?" I still have a heck of a long way to go with my Arabic, but it is enough to get my point across, and that can go a heck of a long way.

Well, my next post should be about the rest of my trip on the other side of the barrier. Don't worry, much more to come - pictures, stories, and hopefully a video soon. Right now I'm saying goodbye to Amman, and I'll be back home just in time for Christmas, so I hope to see everyone in Chapel Hill soon! (and to any SIT people who may be reading this, I miss you guys and hope you all have a great break before jumping back into school back in the States, or wherever you are).

Checking in from Jerusalem

2009-12-13T04:35:00.006-05:00

Quick post while I use up a bit of internet before trekking through the old city for a while. My study abroad program ended yesterday with a beautiful, rushed, and bitter-sweet farewell as people said goodbye and prepared to scatter all around the Middle East before we trickle back home to the states over the next few weeks. For many of the people from the program, it will probably be the last time I see them (at least for a long time), but I'm looking forward to catching up with a handful back in the US (Bonaroo '10?) and wherever our adventures take us in the future (Paris?).

For myself, I will be in Israel and the West Bank for the next 2 weeks, exploring holy sites around Jerusalem, checking out the night life in Tel Aviv, hopefully finding some live music, and hiking a bit in the Golan Heights.

My trip here was like any border crossing in the Middle East, made wonderfully difficult by the strong regional tensions. I took off with a group to try to cross the King Hussein Bridge which is the quickest route to Jerusalem from Amman. Unfortunately, it being the Sabbath, it was closed by noon. So, quick 3 hour detour to the northern border! Here I was held for 2 hours while the others went on. They questioned me extensively about my travel in Lebanon and Syria and my stay in Jordan, and even wanted to see what I was writing in my journal.

Finally, I made it through and continued on to Jerusalem. I met Libi, a wonderfully energetic Israeli girl on my first bus, and we made the transfer to Tel Aviv together. She shared her mango with me that she found on a "foraging trip" this weekend. She is about to start her national service work this week, helping new immigrants adapt to Israel. She declined military service because she is religiously orthodox (and a vegan). I looked incredulous and she pointed out the skirt that she was wearing over her jeans and the red checkered kuffiyah that she wore like a bandanna covering her head.

We sat on a bus for a couple hours surrounded by young Israeli men and women wearing military dress and many of them toting pretty heavy duty weapons. We laughed and sang and they tried to teach me military songs in Hebrew which I didn't really pick up easily. Libi tried the best she could to translate for me since she spoke more English than most of the others.

A strange bond united these young Israelis as we sat together in the back of this crowded bus. For most, they had never met before, but interacted like long time friends. And only a few times did difficult political questions come up:

"Do you love the Israeli army?" asked one man, dressed in civilian clothing.

"I don't love any army," I responded.

He thought for a minute, then looked at me again. "I was in Gaza last year."

I didn't quite know what to say, I smile and nodded. The conversation moved on.

They always say it is important to see an issue from both sides. After 6 months in Jordan, this is my chance to do that, and I'm really interested to see how that goes. My first experience with Israelis was a really good one, but it is definitely difficult to talk politics here, even for someone of a fairly moderate perspective.

Alright, back to the old city for a bit, and the 24/7 prayer house that I found which overlooks the city wall!

We Carve Turkeys With Swords Here, or How I Got Evicted From My Apartment

2009-11-30T17:56:00.011-05:00

Despite the relative ease of translation (eid al-shukr, عيد الشكر) Jordanians just don't get the whole Thanksgiving thing. It's not Christmas or Easter and it's not a Muslim holiday, so what the hell is it? And why are 20 unrelated young people of both genders congregating in that apartment? The only answer could be to do illicit things, at 3 in the afternoon!

I like how my friend, Alex, tried to explain the whole thing to his homestay family. "Well, when the Pilgrims came to America they didn't have much food and so one day they had a big feast together with the Indians and they all shared everything, and it was really nice. But that was only the first one. After that, the Pilgrims killed all the Indians." He then revealed to them that the turkey is a separate species and not in fact a special type of rooster. And all this in Arabic, I'm impressed Alex.

For me, I just stuck to saying it is an American holiday where we get together with family and eat a lot of food, and people generally just smiled and looked confused while I went back to roasting my turkey or searching the Safeway in vain for french fried onions.

It was the first Thanksgiving where I actually tried my hand at a number of my family's recipes. With a lot of improvising, mainly from-scratch ingredients, and about 10 hours in the kitchen, I managed to come out with a pretty decent array of food: green bean casserole, sweet potato casserole, a roasted turkey, and a massive pumpkin pie.

Add to that the variety of dishes brought by about 20 of my closest friends from SIT and you've got yourself a rather hearty Thanksgiving spread! The party went really well, we all had a ton of fun, and I think for all of us it was nice to have a taste of home for the day.

And then comes the part where I got kicked out of my apartment. Not as bad as it sounds, really, just quite a trip that I wasn't expecting to make this week.

As people were still arriving to the party, a man appeared at the door with the building guard to ask us what we were doing. We explained it was Thanksgiving and all of that, but he meant what we were doing in this apartment period. It seems that he was the owner of the building and had no idea that I was living there (I was supposed to be with my host mother's sister, who never came from America). It was shortly after the man left that I got a call from Ghada, my host mother:

"Don't say anything about the party to anyone. They might call the police. You need to move everyone up stairs (to her apartment) right now, there isn't any time. If anyone asks you were never downstairs."

Strange, but this is daily fare for my homestay. We moved the party upstairs, and like I said it went really well. During the dinner, Ghada pulls me aside to tell me that I will have to leave my apartment in the next two days and move upstairs with Alex (different Alex than earlier in the post) who is essentially my host brother, also from SIT. Apparently her sister is never coming, and so she sold the apartment back to the owner. And no one bothered to tell me this until 2 days before I get evicted. Thanks.

Immediately after the party ended, we started moving all of the furniture out of my flat into the one upstairs (which had no room to take it all). The next morning, I finished the job by packing up everything I own in Jordan and moving up with Alex.

It is still a fine situation, we get along great, but it was a jolt that I wasn't expecting. And I think it was this jolt that really set me loose enough that I am now ready to come back home. I'll be living out of my suitcase for the last couple weeks in Jordan, because there is neither room or need to unpack again before I leave. After finally becoming stationary for a while, I was thrust back into a transitory state, and once I hit that point I have to keep on going.

I've noticed in just the past few days that I have stopped making as much of an effort to see people in Jordan and more of an effort to catch up with friends from back home. It's a strange sensation, and despite being frustrated at times here in the last 6 months, this is the first time that I've really been ready to go. I guess it's good in a sense that I'm experiencing this now, but I've still got 24 days until I actually get home, and I expect to live those to the fullest. Wish me luck, I'll keep you updated on how that goes.

(I'm thankful for Cece and her lovely photos from Thanksgiving that I stole from Facebook)

Up in the Cedars

2009-11-30T03:36:00.013-05:00

I took a secret trip recently. Fortunately, my academic director is never going to read this, so I feel it should be alright to divulge a few of the secrets before I get home. Unfortunately, that same logic didn't work out as well when I put a post on couchsurfing announcing our arrival and friends from school decided that day to sign up for couchsurfing (because I introduced them to it) and to check that same message board. Horrible luck, but no harm done.

The main reason for the secrecy of the trip is that I could technically fail my program if they found out about it. Also, we may or may not have been traveling to multiple countries with state department travel warnings and the propensity to break out into civil wars and skirmishes with Israel.

Eh, all in a day's travels.

So throwing all unreasonable caution to the wind (we held on only to the basic sort of caution that you should naturally keep about you when traveling), we jumped on board with Bilal, our fearless international taxi driver, and after a 5 hour wait to enter Syria and a quick drive through the mountains, we found ourselves wandering around with suitcases in tow in the middle of downtown Beirut. Perhaps I should explain that "we" is myself and 4 girls, just so you can get a better picture.

Like any good backpackers, we had done minimal planning and even less in terms of reservations or anything of the sort. Looking rather lost and tired after 12 hours on the road, we stumbled in the general direction of the hostel district and managed to solicit directions from a couple nice bar goers and one friendly Lebanese guy who actually walked us to what he thought was the hostel we were asking about. It wasn't. But it worked out just fine.

That night we went to a classy French cafe filled with locals chatting and flirting over bottles of wine. On the wall was an excerpt from the Little Prince and a lot of quotes about freedom of thought. It was cute, it was out there, it was pricey, it was Lebanon. I felt bad for ordering a bacon cheeseburger (especially traveling with 3 vegetarians), but I haven't had bacon since May and I've been craving it.

It was delicious!

The "reason" or catalyst for our trip was supposedly to see the Beirut Rock Festival. It was three nights of international acts featuring Peter Murphy, Yann Tiersen, Aqua de Annique, an Armenian girl, and a lot of metal the last night which we decided wasn't really worth attending. Overall, good music, especially Yann Tiersen who had a mostly instrumental sound with fantastic musical transitions which frequently involved him rocking the hell out of a violin.

As Beirut is known for it's night life, we of course did a decent bit of going out to the bars and clubs. The second night, a few of us couchsurfed with Danny, and also got to go joy riding with him and his friend Fadi in their convertibles up and down the Corniche by the sea. Also, the last night we went out until about 5am bar hopping and finally heading to BO18 (an underground club with a retractable roof that opens and closes throughout the night to reveal the stars above) to dance away our last few hours in Lebanon.

Despite all the activity, my favorite part of Lebanon was definitely the solo adventure that I took up to Bcharre to see the famous Cedars of Lebanon and to explore a bit of the Qadisha Valley. I have noted before that it is difficult to travel solo for long periods of time, but it is also tough traveling in large groups. So three days in, I took off early in the morning and caught the public buses all the way up into the hills where I found a completely different part of the Middle East.

Snow topped mountains where the ski season will soon be underway, quiet mountain villages full of Maronite Christians, orange trees changing colors in the crisp fall air, and the last remaining grove of Cedars all set this beautiful valley an unthinkable distance away from the daily life that I know in crowded, arid, urban Amman.

I took a taxi up to the Cedars and walked around by myself for an hour in the heavy mist that rolled slowly over the mountains all day. It was cold, it was beautiful, I was all by myself in the grove, it was very holy (the meaning of Qadisha).

I turned on an album that my friend, Richie, gave me of a number of ancient Hebrew and Aramaic prayers and songs. It was peaceful. I listened to a chanted version of the Aramaic Lord's Prayer for a while. I think that something I've missed in Amman is the ability to get away and have an opportunity to just sit somewhere and contemplate away from people. I just want to walk up on a mountain and pray. There are lots of hills in Amman, but not much chance of getting away from people. I need to do this more often.

Eventually, I retreated back to Bcharre by foot, armed with a hot cup of Nescafe to ward off the cold and the potential rain. The fog lifted and the view was beautiful. However, about an hour into my hike I realized that I probably wouldn't make it all the way back down to town before the last bus left for Beirut.

This was a problem.

I stepped off the road to relieve myself and figure out my next step, but heard a car coming and hurried out from behind the barrier to try to flag it down. Too late. It drove off down the road and around a bend, crap. Then the car reappeared coming back toward me and stopped next to me. The driver gave me the normal sign for "what do you want" or "where are you going," which is a quick twist of the hand starting with the palm facing down and ending with it up. I explained my situation as best I could in Arabic and he told me to get in.

In the conversation that followed, I answered the usual questions that are directed at me by most of the Arabs that I meet here (and fortunately I have gotten pretty good at this typical introduction): the incredulous what are you doing here?, where are you from?, what do you do? The one thing that struck me was his response when I told him that I am American.

"What are you doing here? We are Hezbollah."

"You are?"

"Yes."

"No problem. America, Hezbollah, same thing."

He laughed.

It was quite a ride. While I am pretty sure he was not actually a member of Hezbollah as he was a Maronite Christian, I can understand the sentiments and the feelings of animosity that America garners over here. But all political differences aside, you discover when you travel the world the great weight of humanity that binds us all together. And that's a beautiful thing.

Way Down South (Petra, Wadi Rum, Aqaba...)

2009-11-06T08:16:00.003-05:00

After averaging about 4.5 hours of sleep per night this week because of a few too many midnight adventures scrambling up mountains, I finally caught back up with something like 14 hours last night. And today I have made time before I fall back asleep again to post a little update about those adventures and the events in between them.

Overview: This was a 5 day trip with my study abroad program to the south of Jordan where we visited a ton of sites for educational (read recreational) purposes in a whirlwind tour on our large, yellow bus. Although I really enjoyed all the places we went, it was probably a bit too much to stuff into this short of a trip.
Day 1: Amman - Karak Castle - Wadi Musa
Day 2: Petra - Wadi Rum (4x4)
Day 3: Wadi Rum (Camels) - Aqaba (Snorkeling)
Day 4: Aqaba - Dana Nature Reserve (Feynan Eco Lodge)

In general, the trip was incredibly similar to our Egypt trip: an opportunity for us to forget about school for a bit, adventure a lot, and stay up incredibly late since the curfews that many students have while in Amman are lifted on the road. Highlights include climbing on top of the Monastery at Petra, snorkeling around a sunken Jordanian tank in the Red Sea, and hiking up a mountain at midnight in Wadi Rum by the light of the full moon. After 5 months in the Middle East, it was definitely my most adventurous week by far! Pictures on their way, and I also just finished up a movie for my Arabic class entitled, "She Thinks My Camel's Sexy," so get excited about those being posted soon (check facebook first though).

Halloween in Jordan

2009-10-31T13:48:00.004-04:00

It's a blessing and curse of globalization: all the ridiculous things that we do in America have somehow found their way to the four corners of the earth. So even in Amman, you can find people somewhere throwing wild Halloween parties as a good excuse to dress in wild/scary/scandalous costumes and avoid the conservativeness that usually rules in this part of the world.

You begin to realize a bit of the cultural immersion that you've undergone when outfits that would normally go unnoticed (and probably be considered conservative on Franklin Street at Halloween) are suddenly shocking and bring to mind the word "haram" (forbidden) which is so ubiquitously used here.

Also, I noticed the way that the expat world collides here. For instance, twice now I have gone to a party not expecting to know more than a couple people, and when I walked in the door ran straight into Ryan, my roommate from this summer. Similarly, this weekend, I saw about 20 people that I knew from various places all congregated in costumes on a roof on Jabal Amman, and then a whole group of people from my program arrived.

And despite the ridiculousness of it all, I'm beginning to understand the nature of a community living in a foreign country. It's difficult living thousands of miles from family and friends, whether for a month or years, and you have to find things to spark that sense of community that you get at home. So it could be Cinco de Mayo, Chinese New Year, St. Patrick's Day, or Halloween, doesn't really matter what it is, but it's important to find some people to celebrate with and feel a bit of community for a while.

At times I feel that I need to plug in more with locals here, and sometimes I feel like I'm selling out by hanging out with other Americans so much of the time, and both feelings have some validity. But when it comes down to it, being completely removed from your home culture gets stressful as much as it is exciting and being stuck in it leads to closed mindedness even though it is so comforting.

Like everything else, it seems that there is a need for a middle path that balances the tension. That's what I'm trying to find in my last 2 months in Amman. Wish me luck.

ps - I'm off to Petra now, bye.

A Party on the Nile

2009-10-22T01:48:00.014-04:00

To break up the subtle monotony of Jordan and reportedly so that we could learn about modernization and social change in a neighboring country, my study abroad group took a class trip last week to Egypt! There were indeed lots of learning moments (a couple lectures, a trip to the Arab League, strolling around the National Museum), the normal plethora of tourist attractions (Pyramids, mosques...), and fortunately a decent bit of time put aside for my favorite activity: exploring and learning experientially. While most of our time was spent in Cairo, but I also had a chance to take a day trip to Alexandria. A few stories:

I'm slightly impressed by our program's ability to get speakers for us. In Cairo we had a chance to hear from a member of the People's Assembly (Parliament) before he jetted off for a TV interview on al-Jazeera and from the the spokesperson for the General Secretary of the Arab League (at the AL headquarters). I'm not sure if they just have mad contacts or if a group of American students gets special privileges like that. Either way, it's a bit ridiculous. We also have stuff like that happen in Jordan - "oh you need to talk to the minister? let me arrange that for you."

The Pyramids: you know, they don't seem so big from up close. Don't get me wrong, they're really awesome, but after a lifetime of building up to it, they are not quite as exhilarating as The Mummy makes it all out to be. I did get to crawl around into one of the under ground burial chambers, and we rode camels for the very touristy photo shoot by the pyramids. What is really surprising about the pyramids is how close they are to Cairo. The city really comes all the way up to them (in large part because of the tourist industry) and there is a whole row of fast food places right across from the Sphinx.

Alexandria: one of my favorite days in Egypt was definitely our free day which I spent on the coast in the town of Alexandria. Although it doesn't have the same scale of sites as Cairo or the Upper Nile, it was just a nice opportunity to see another side of Egypt. I especially enjoyed meeting a group of Scout administrators (yes, I'm proud of my boy scout background) from all across the Arab world who had a conference in Egypt. I started talking in Arabic to a few of them from Libya and Oman, and had a great conversation with them and another girl from our group who was also a scout. We also met a Saudi couple there who were incredibly nice and I talked to the wife about visiting her hometown in Syria a few months ago (and now she is facebook friends with Geneva and I). Overall just a really chill day: picnic in a park, sunset over the harbor, and late night catchphrase on the beach.

Felucca-ing on the Nile: Our final night in Egypt, about 15 of the students in my program got together and rented out a party boat on the Nile. Usually they are used for wedding parties and such, but ours involved a little more loud rap music and slightly haram dancing. The highlight was probably when a boat full of Egyptians pulled up next to us and offered us cake. That was closely followed by the part where we blasted "I'm on a Boat" while dancing on top of the metal cage that covered the boat's deck. We proceeded to take the party back to the hotel, where it continued at the pool on the roof until about 3am. Good times had by all.

In general, Egypt was a great time, a nice "learning experience," and an opportunity for my study abroad group to let loose a bit after the more controlled atmosphere in Jordan (especially b/c of our Jordanian homestays and frequent curfews). Like lock-ins during high school, we were able to stay up till the early morning talking by the pool or watching Arrested Development in one of our rooms.

I also have been really happy to see that my ability in Arabic take off a ton in the last couple months. I think the confidence that I have gained from speaking regularly for the last 4 months has built up to a point where my vocabulary is limited by I can talk naturally about basic topics. Like I said, one of my favorite parts in Egypt was the opportunity I had to practice my Arabic, especially with people who speak different dialects besides the Jordanian one. That's it for now, enjoy the pictures below, more to come and hopefully an Egypt video in the near future.

Back in the Saddle

2009-10-04T13:33:00.004-04:00

I can't really blame my lack of posting recently on anything in particular. There is the hectic nature of tramping around Syria for two weeks, the transition back into a new schedule in Amman, the lack of constant internet or a lot of down time to just write...that sort of thing. For the handful of you who actually check this thing regularly, it has meant a lot to hear from you that you actually noticed that I haven't updated in a while. So I'll do the best I can to comply with your requests for more information from my adventure in Jordan.

While I can't fill you in on everything that has been happening the last month and a half, I'll try to do what I can to paint a broad picture in a string of shorter posts so as not to overwhelm.

The first topic is of course my two week trip to Syria. I'll update this post with more information, pictures and stories later, but for now, check out the video that I just posted to youtube from my pictures and video taken during my Syria trip. I would imbed it, but coffee shop internet proves to make that difficult.

Syria

On to Syria! (almost)

2009-08-16T07:15:00.008-04:00

I am writing from the office on my second to last day of work. There is a rare silence at the moment (I may have my ear buds in to block out the occasional interruptions / fits of yelling that do break out) and I am left with a bit of time to write up my last blog post about the internship. It has been nearly 8 weeks and a little over 300 hours of work since I began interning (as a requirement for my minor in social entrepreneurship) at the end of June, and I have definitely learned and experienced a lot during that time. Now that it comes to the end, I realize that I am pretty worn out and need this trip to Syria to just relax and unwind. I might go to a Syrian monastery for a couple days and just take it easy before hitting up Ramadan with some friends in Aleppo and Damascus.

One thing that I am definitely realizing more every day (especially the last week) is the impressive difference between a social entrepreneur and a development worker. There are many dedicated workers in Ruwwad, Jordan, and around the world who work in the development field and are great at doing the job in front of them. However, a social entrepreneur isn't satisfied with just the job they are given, they constantly seek innovation, better practices, and a breaking down of all barriers that stand between them and the desired positive social impact.

At the moment, the organization that I am working with is going through an interesting transition of leadership that has brought this issue and distinction to the surface. One thing that I have seen while observing this transition is the force of the status quo and the constant battle that a social entrepreneur must fight to get people on board with their vision. Even if people are doing their job in an organization like this, unless the entire staff understands the ultimate goals and aims (and can act to achieve that mission), the organization will be caught in a constant struggle to bring everyone on board in a coherent manner.

I saw this same problem in my program implementation: because many of the volunteers didn't understand the goals of the program, they improperly implemented the program in a way that seemed logical (or simple) to them. In the end, we ended up with results that were more telling of how people thought during these exercises than they were actually transformational to either the students or volunteers (although there was hopefully some progress, or at least an idea that these issues are important to talk about and act on).

In addition, I have been feeling the effects of office drama and a work environment which has been very negative at times. It seems that the most accepted way to get your way around the world is to yell about it until someone concedes your point. While I don't agree with this principle, it is hard to escape it when it is the reality in your office. In addition, my style of seeking positive change and constant innovation has driven a wedge between myself and some of the other workers (specifically some of the people I work loosely under). I think that my style has threatened and confused some of the workers and resulted in times at verbal abuse from one individual (presented in a joking manner, but you can only take "you are sooooo stupid and lazy" as a joke for so long) and a fear of my constant note taking from a lot of the volunteers.

Some of the fear may be justified because I do not hold punches to protect people, but report as accurately as possible on everything that I see and how it could be improved and innovated upon, this is how my whole "Changemakers" program came about in the first place. It is interesting that my work which has been seen as valuable to our entrepreneurial director has caused such problems for the majority of the staff.

I could go on for a while, but I'll cut it off there for now. Lots more to come on a whole new phase of my time in Jordan: SIT! My study abroad program starts up two weeks from today after my trip to Syria. It is really strange to think that I am still only half way done with my trip and also that I have gone through all of this before my study abroad program has even begun. More pictures to come on Facebook as I get the time to post them, on this blog entry you can see a cliff top shot from my trip to Ajlun/Irbid, a couple pool party pictures, and one from a dance party with other couchsurfers.

The Economics of Attraction

2009-08-05T07:43:00.005-04:00

I had a realization the other day when I began thinking about the economic explanations for everyday things that I see in Jordan (a la Freakonomics). Here you go: the problem of attraction between those pesky twitterpated youth is treated in different ways around the world by social standards. However, social standards can take opposite approaches to the same problem depending on the understanding of the economic factors causing the problem. In this case, conservative Islamic societies (such as a large part of the population of Jordan) view the problem as a supply-side issue while in my own upbringing in America, I was presented the same issue with a demand-side story. This is by no means scientific, just a couple observations about life and the implications of economic decisions on non-economic problems. Let me explain...

In Jordan (as in the US), it is understood that men have strong feelings of attraction that cannot always be controlled (especially when they see an attractive girl). The response in Jordan is mostly to cover up girls in any situations outside of the home or the company of family or other girls. The problem is thus alleviated by reducing the supply (the amount of skin being shown, and thus the amount of male reaction), while not fully tackling the demand side of the equation. Therefore, men continue to stare down girls (especially westerners) and make rude comments (such as "Hey Barbie," which I overheard directed towards my Dutch friends the other day) when the necessary supply side restraints are not in place (and even when they are, they still like staring).

However, the reaction that I have generally seen in the West to this dilemma is that the amount of clothes to wear is considered up to the woman while the reaction of the man should be controlled and restrained, essentially taking a demand-side approach. The idea is to control the demand (demonstrated by visible or even mental actions taken by the male) while allowing complete (mostly, we still aren't nudists) freedom in the supply-side wardrobe. However, you still run into the problem of men not actually limiting their reaction, just the outward signs of it. So it is deemed inappropriate for a guy to obviously notice a woman's low-cut shirt, but not inappropriate for her to wear it. Therefore he must hide his attraction, in quick glances and such, in order to act in a socially acceptable manner while not actually changing his thoughts and only slightly restraining his behavior.

In both scenarios, the actual problem is neither corrected nor solved, just transferred. In fact, I don't think that any social standards will ever stop the twitterpation of youth (as I saw in the back of the bus today, hehe), but we continue to try. I suppose that in terms of visible results there is some definite impact from the social standards put in place, but that is definitely only in the open, there is always a way around any rule.

Hitting the Wall

2009-08-02T09:42:00.006-04:00

When attempting to approach even the smallest societal problems in this world, I find myself simultaneously faced with feelings of the pressing needs around me and my desire to create positive change and also the futility of my actions and efforts when there remains so much that will "never" change. This has especially been true during my time in Jordan and in my efforts to get this "Change Makers" program through the pilot phase.

I just hit the final week (3) of implementing my program, and have been faced with a number of successes and a whole lot of observations regarding room for improvement (I try not to say failures). While there have been a number of surface level problems regarding properly translating the instructions and the intent of the activities, I have come into even bigger problems regarding the skills necessary to undertake this kind of work. Unfortunately, it is not just the kids who are unable to think about how to create change, but the university student volunteers and a number of the adults.

The biggest thing that has struck me here (especially in the course of this program) is the overwhelming resignation towards the status quo. Whenever I asked kids what they could do about something they threw their hands up in frustration and said, "That's the way it is, you can't change it!" Problems ranging from excessive trash to rude neighbors to corporal punishment were all acknowledged as problems, but were all seen as impossible to improve or solve. Upon further prodding, the volunteers regularly told me that this was too hard for the kids and we just shouldn't worry about it. However, the whole point of the program was just to discuss these issues and start thinking about answers, they didn't need viable solutions for all the world's problems. So while we ended up with a lot of problems writen down on pieces of paper (or not for the volunteers who decided those instructions weren't important), very little was actually done to help the students begin thinking differently.

BUT, this does give me a lot of information to work with. Now, I better understand the problems related to problem solving in this country. I am hoping to begin putting together a plan for a more detailed program which would first run volunteers through it so that they can actually understand the goals and the tools necessary to address issues and to encourage the kids to think creatively.

I could go on, but I'll just give a quick update on my time here before I post this thing. I have 3 weeks left of my internship, after that I hope to travel to Syria for a week and then will be back in Amman on August 31st to start my study abroad program. I went to the Dead Sea last weekend, which was lovely except for the gash that I managed to procure on some rocks while trying to get all the mud off of myself without getting any water in my mouth (that stuff is nasty!). Unfortunately, a number of my friends from the summer are leaving this week, which means it's party time before they go, but also a bit of an ineresting transitional time as I get ready to shift to the fall and a new location and daily routine.

Talking 'bout Religion

2009-07-21T09:11:00.008-04:00

I had a very interesting conversation yesterday with a number of coaches and volunteers on the way to Ajloun (about a 2 hour ride). The main topic of conversation of course turned to religion, which, strangely enough, I really enjoy talking about. However, religion is already a difficult issue to discuss properly and cohesively in your own language, but unfortunately much harder when the primary language in the conversation is Arabic, with attempted translation for the vast majority of it which you don't understand. Also, as I learned, the questions that a group of Jordanians (and for the most part Muslims in general I think) will ask you about religion are frequently quite different from the usual questions that I deal with in the US, where even atheists are rooted in a deeply Christian-influenced culture.

I think the first question was something along the lines of: "Why aren't you a Muslim?" OK, good start. I explained that I was a follower of Jesus and believed in the Bible. They reminded me that Jesus was a prophet in the Qu'ran as well, and pointed people to Islam. They also informed me that Jesus never actually died on the cross (apparently a lie that the Jews came up with), but was saved by God. I went on to describe a bit of my belief in the centrality of the cross in Jesus' message, and told them that I believed in what he taught about non-violence and an allegiance to a kingdom not of this world. They kinda laughed at these last points, especially the non-violent part. "What if someone was hurting your mom? What would you do then?"

I was reminded of what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 1 about Christ's crucifixion being "a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles." My friends wondered why God would allow a prophet to be executed and why Jesus would teach his followers to follow his example and be so weak and foolish? Regardless of the language barrier, it is impossible to logically explain how Jesus "disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross" (Col. 2:15) except by pointing to the resurrection. Yet if you are talking to someone who doesn't acknowledge either the crucifixion or resurrection, then you are a bit out of luck on this argument. So I was stuck with foolishness, which for a follower of Christ seems like a good place to be.

The conversation moved on to the topic of defending the faith when I asked my friends what they thought about the Dutch cartoons depicting the Prophet or the Salman Rushdie (Satanic Verses) controversy. They agreed that the artists behind these blasphemies should be killed (after being given a firm warning) for their offenses against the Prophet and Islam. Now this shocked me a bit, because most Muslims that I have interacted with in the US tend to be a bit more liberal and favor free speech over "defending" their religion against the horrible attacks of artists in foreign countries. However, as I reflected on this conversation and some of the fundamental differences between our faiths, some of these issues made a lot more sense.

(Preface to the final bit: frequently the Christianity that I am about to talk about has been lost in the desire for political and religious power which culminated in the idea of Christendom. However, I subscribe to the words of Jesus, who spoke of a kingdom not of this world (John 18:36) and who told his disciples that the world would hate them and persecute them, but that this little revolution of love would win over the world)

One of the greatest fundamental differences between the teachings of Christianity and the other main monotheistic faiths (Judaism and Islam) is the fact that Christianity is the only one in which the founder (I'm looking at Moses more than Abraham for Judaism) was not a political as well as religious leader (not that Jesus was not political, but he was not a "political leader" in the usual sense). As mentioned above, Jesus talked a lot about his Kingdom, but made clear that it was not like the kingdoms of this world. He denounced violence and ruling by the sword, and points out that if he was leading an earthly kingdom, then his followers would have defended him (John 18:36 again).

However, Islam, since the time of the Prophet Mohammad, has been both a religious and a political entity. Granted, the political cohesiveness of the Islamic world was never really been a single entity after the time of the Prophet and the first 4 Caliphs (because of questions over who should take up the caliphate after him. However, the connection between Islam and politics has remained to this day in a very tangible way (not exclusive, but important as can be seen by the historic desire to control the caliphate).

The important part here, related to my analysis, is that Jesus prepares his followers to be insulted, despised, and executed for their faith (and the apostles confirm this with their lives), but yet warns them not to resist an evil man, for the Kingdom of God is not like the kingdoms of this world. The Kingdom will not spread through conquest (again, the Church regrettably gave up on this vision and lost sight of their savior for about a thousand years of Christendom), but instead through the love and the blood of these "little Jesuses" (Christian was originally a mocking and derogatory term).

However, the political nature of the Prophet within Islam led to a need for Muslims to physically expand the faith through conquest as an earthly kingdom does. In the same way, Judaism was founded and then required a physical place for the Jewish people to dwell in. So it makes sense that assaults on the Prophet or on Islam in general, wherever they occur around the world, are an attack on Islam everywhere, and must be "defended". While I don't agree with the methods of this defense (I kinda support free speech and productive dialogue and criticism), I can see why the nature of the religion would result in this reaction (compared to say a Buddhist freaking out about a fat Buddha statue).

I do not mean for these observations to be perceived as a value statement, but simply as some of my thoughts on a few of the differences between Islam and Christianity and the way that these different beliefs and points of view have come up during my time here. I am painting in broad strokes that obviously miss a lot, and again my argument is contradictory to a lot of Church history (which does not follow what I would define as the message of the Gospel) in the same way that I am sure much of modern "Islamism" is contradictory to what many Muslims would describe as the original message of Islam.

Change Makers, Gender Issues, and No Time to Breathe

2009-07-18T14:48:00.009-04:00

In typical fashion for me, I have managed to go from having very little to do here (talking primarily of my internship) to nearly overloading myself with commitments and not taking a full day off from some sort of work in the last three weeks. Granted, I am still only working a bit over 40 hours a week (in office at least), but there has not been a full day off in quite a while now, which starts to take it's toll on you. Part of the problem is that the work week at my organization and at the camp I am helping with are a day off from each other. So after working Sunday - Thursday at the camps, I frequently have to come in to observe or help with some sort of training on Saturday (when Ruwwad does a large part of their community projects because people are off work and out of school).

However, a big reason for my never ending work week is that I continue to make life hard for myself by coming up with new ideas (which are a very dangerous thing). I talked a bit in my last post about how the organization I am working with has asked me to observe everything and give them advice on how to improve some of their programs. With my couple classes in social entrepreneurship, I have begun to see wasted opportunities and resources in organizations more clearly, and really get a kick out of figuring out how to put those inputs together to make useful outcomes.

On Wednesday, I presented a few of my ideas on how to utilize the wasted time of some volunteers and the need for critical thinking development (and not just sports skills) for the students. I was somewhat surprised to be given the go ahead to implement a new program within the summer day camps starting this upcoming week. The program I created, Change Makers, focuses on cultivating the critical thinking and problem solving skills in kids to help identify and propose solutions to problems that they see in the world around them. In general, the focus is less on solving everything than it is on thinking seriously about these issues and working together to address problems. I had Thursday and Friday to actually draft up the program (goals and methods and a lot of the daily plans), and this morning got to train about 10 volunteers to implement the program at all 4 camps that we are running. I'll try to post an update next week detailing how week one of the program goes (only 3 weeks left). It will be very interesting, especially trying to track progress and successful implementation from the Arabic group discussions.

Also, I have had a lot of very interesting interactions with the female volunteers this week after spending last Sunday in Salt (the only all girls camp). When the volunteers are all together, the boys and girls very quickly separate. Occasionally, a few of them will actually talk briefly to someone of the opposite sex (greetings and such are common of course), but it is very rare to see a boy and girl engaged in a longer conversation. At first, I thought the girls were just all very reserved and quite. However, on the bus to Salt, I learned that this initial impression was not true at all. As soon as we got on the road, the music turned on, and the back of the bus turned into a bit of a dance party/sing-along. They got very excited when I started clapping along for a bit. However, this was only possible because the only boys there were the bus driver and myself. Later in the week, I noticed that in a co-ed bus the girls were incredibly quite, and when I tried to get one of them into the music she said "only in Salt, not here."

Besides the bus ride, I was able to start talking to a number of the female volunteers (and a couple of the very talkative and curious students) for the first time last Sunday. The conversations were all in Arabic, most of the volunteers speak very little English, but we were able to communicate a decent bit. The interesting thing is that as a foreigner, it is more appropriate for me to talk to the girls than for most of the guys here. I'm not sure how much of this is me just not being required to be as sensitive to the cultural gender divisions (as a foreigner you have a bit more leeway, but don't try to go too far) and how much is the fact that many times the boys contribute to the division by segregating themselves from the girls and refusing to really talk to them.

It is interesting that Ruwwad has a fairly female led leadership and that men and women work constantly with each other in the office, but for many of the volunteers the division is still a bit deal. I'll keep sussing this out, no conclusions to be made, but many more questions starting to formulate. Wish me luck implementing my program this week. It's gonna be quite an experience!

Out and About

2009-07-11T07:20:00.007-04:00

Looking back, I'm not sure I left the city limits once during my first month in Amman. However, this last week I have gotten out nearly every day for my job and for some random adventuring around Jordan. I've posted some pictures of both: camp activites in Zarqa, a couchsurfing picnic in Zay, and a trip to the Roman ruins at Jerash. Granted all of these places are within a couple hours of Amman and I still have a lot to see in Jordan, but I realize that I have 7 months and would love to not burn out by going to Petra 4 times.

Madrasati Summer Camps:
After drafting forms and going over details all last week, we got to start implementing everything this week at the summer camps in Zarqa, Jerash, Ajlun, and Salt (cities relatively near Amman). It was definitely a week of mixed results: from a somewhat rough start and miscommunications in the beginning to a fairly seemless operation by Thursday. However, one problem that has become apparent is that the number registered for the camps is nearly twice the daily attendance, meaning that we prepared for a lot more kids than we are actually serving.

One very interesting problem that this highlights is the difficulty of providing free services that require registration. The kids were able to sign up and attend the camps free of charge, but many do not actually have access to transportation to get to the schools where they are held (and live as far as 10km away). However, there is no penalty to signing up and then bailing, so of course these kids will sign up and decide later that they can't actually go. My theory is that including a small fee in the registration process would reduce the number of initial registrations, but would greatly increase the correspondence between registration and attendance. Unfortunately, it is a little late to do that this year, so we will have to look into other methods to solve this problem, or more likely just continue to receive way too many sandwiches every day. In many of the case studies we looked at last year in my entrepreneurship classes, social entrepreneurs commented that one of their mistakes was offering services free of charge when a small fee would greatly increase their own effectiveness while not being a burden to most of their clients.

Also, this week has seen a couple very nice changes in the nature of my internship in order to incorporate a bit more of my study of social entrepreneurship and not just my skills in English and photography. Currently I am looking a bit into the difference between community development and organization (I would love any input from those of you more experienced in these fields), and will be helping a bit as Ruwwad looks to alter some of their programs and incorporate an emphasis on socially entrepreneurial practices in both their structure and in their teaching programs. However, it is difficult walking the line between observing and consulting on one hand and giving culturally biased advice that will not be easily implemented or accepted on the other. I have heard stories about businesses in the Middle East bringing in consultants to help improve their business practices, but the changes suggested were too drastic and in the end nothing was changed at all. So I understand that while I do have some skills to offer and an outside viewpoint which can be valuable, I still have a lot to learn and will try to be careful to tailor my recommendations to the realities faced in Jordan in terms of cultural norms, development level, and current business practices.

On the Job

2009-07-01T06:49:00.009-04:00

Speaking of changes: I started work this week at Ruwwad and moved in this morning to my new apartment (one hill away from work, or about 30 minutes on foot). I've always thought that work is difficult enough when you speak the language, but here I find myself in Jordan spending my days in a fully Arabic work environment, mostly flying by the seat of my pants as I try to figure out what exactly I am supposed to be doing for the vast majority of my time between various tasks that I am given.

My primary task for the week has been creating report forms for the camp counselors and directors, in Arabic of course. Which means that I get to draft an idea of what I think should go on the form, attempt to translate it into Arabic, type the whole thing up, and then get told that asking questions like, "were there any problems that were not solved?" on a final report is too likely to get an honest answer that will get people in trouble. So I've had to scale down my scope of questions a bit and make stuff nice and vague, and figure out how to be tactful in Arabic (mostly people here just tell me what to write and I type it up). After nearly 3 days of work, I have 4 forms to show for my time. Which is impressive considering that I can barely get by on my Arabic in a real conversation, but seems like a bit of a waste of time considering that I could have drafted up all these forms in English in about an hour.

Another interesting dilemma is that my computer isn't fully compatible with the computers here, so I have to finish everything and then save it in pdf format so it can be read, which means the proofreading process is unnecessarily tedious. The good news is that we start the camp next week, and I will be able to get out of the office and see what is actually going on at the camps, which will keep me occupied. Also, while being surrounded by Arabic is confusing at times, it is also the best way to learn it. So shwaya shwaya (little by little) I'm improving, but still a heck of a long way to go with that.

I finally got a chance to get my camera out some this week. The top one is from the roof of the building I'm living in. I have a studio apartment, but the roof top terrace has a wonderful view. The middle picture is from a scenic overlook at the Dead Sea, and the bottom one is from a concert that I went to with my former roommate, Ryan, the singer is Yazan al-Rousan, a Jordanian artist who sings in Arabic but plays music that sounds like a bit like Arabian ska.

Posts to come:
- Back to where it all began: Christianity in the Middle East
- Trashed: what would it take to get people to stop throwing their crap everywhere?
- Economics of Jordan: is it really profitable to drive around all day playing ice cream truck music and selling gas canisters?
- and many, many more

South Amman

2009-06-27T08:11:00.003-04:00

A lot of change can happen in one short week. I am still in the middle of all these changes, but I'll try to give you a snapshot of the transition to my next stage in Amman. First, the last week was my final one at Ali Baba, where I was studying Arabic 4 hours a day for the last month. It was interesting looking back on my progress throughout the month: I picked up a newspaper this week and was able to understand most of the front page headlines (and a couple articles) without a dictionary, I learned a decent number of colloquial words and phrases (but still can't shake my 2 years of formal Arabic in conversation), and managed to perfect my 3 sentence introduction of my name, where I'm from, and what the heck I'm doing in Amman.

My teacher, Sanabel, attempted to help me figure out how to register for residency in Jordan (since I will be here longer than 6 months), but besides help filling out the form (100% Arabic), I was on my own trying to wade through the horrible bureaucracy of Jordan's Ministry of the Interior. Now imagine the DMV, super sized, with no recognizable directions or instructions, in a foreign language which you barely speak. That's basically what I was dealing with. After waiting in 3 incorrect lines, I finally got my number and watched for it to appear on the screen above the long line of windows. When I was called, I had to fight through a crowd of men trying to push forward, and had to shove my number through the mob to be recognized (even after I was at the window I had to ward off intruders trying to stick their faces in the little window hole and get their forms through first). The man seemed confused by my attempt to turn in the form, and called over an English speaking official. He told me that because I'm not in a university program, I can't get residency, but I can come back in the fall when I am with SIT and try again (but having residency for 2 months doesn't exactly make sense). So my efforts failed, I'll just have to keep renewing my visa and pay normal foreigner pries for the tourist destinations.

I'm writing at the moment from one of the stranger sights in Amman: a full fledged Christian bookstore. It is full of Francine Rivers novels, teen study Bibles, various religious accessories, and a whole stack of The Shack. While I couldn't find a bi-lingual study Bible, I did manage to find the Narnia books in Arabic, and actually understood the majority of the first chapter in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. At least it has A/C, coffee, and free internet.

I went this morning to check out what will soon be my new flat in Jabal al-Ashrafiya, in South Amman. I found out about the place from an add on the posting board at the Good Book Shop (above), and it is amazing how quickly you can go from complete uncertainty about where you will be living next week to a done deal for the next two months. I will be paying half as much as I do now for a flat within walking distance (maybe 20 minutes) of my internship. The place is owned by a Jordanian family (mother teaches Arabic to English speakers), and they have 3 separate flats for rent (an Aussie and Brit are in the other flats at the moment). I'll get some pictures next week of the place and especially the amazing view from the roof top terrace. It will also be nice (for my spoken Arabic) living around Arabic speakers instead of an American roommate (despite the great time I've had with Ryan the last month).

On top of that, I start up work at Ruwwad tomorrow. It has been difficult getting specifics on my first week there (the camp starts on July 7th), but I can basically go along with whatever they want me to do. The great thing about my new apartment is that I can drive easily (or walk with limited difficulty) to work and my favorite spots downtown, which will cut out a ton on taxi driving time and cost. I actually just finished walking around for the last hour from the apartment to downtown, and then up the hill to 1st Circle, where a lot of good coffee shops and bars are located. So now I'm hot, fairly tired, and ready to sit and read for the rest of the afternoon. At least I'm getting a good workout here.

Check back for updates on a number of aspects of Jordanian life, and my thoughts on the first week of work at Ruwwad.

Pictures! and other odds and ends

2009-06-19T06:42:00.008-04:00

By popular request, and due to my free time a couple days ago, I finally have a couple pictures up from my neighborhood. As you can see, Amman is a city built on a ton of hills, which makes walking around town incredibly enjoyable (especially with the added benefit of the rather high temperature). In the top picture, you may notice that Amman is not a desert, contrary to popular belief. In fact, it even snows here in the winter. Granted the large green patch shown in the picture is the University of Jordan which is kept looking pristine by a staff of gardeners, but all around the city you see a decent number of trees and plants struggling to make it through the dry summer. The picture on the right shows the street I live on (I live in a 1st floor apartment on at the bottom of the hill), and another example of the wonderful hills here. Below, you can see me and some friends at a nice pub called Amigos. Pictures should be coming more frequently once I start work in a couple weeks, because part of my job will be documenting a kids camp that the organization I've working with is putting on (more on that below).

I just finished week three (of 4) in my intensive Arabic course at the Ali Baba language center. It always amazing how quickly a month can go by, especially when you are doing something that takes up your whole day and then abruptly ends. Yesterday, I took a field trip with my 2 teachers and 4 other American students to downtown. We had to talk in Arabic (mostly...) and did a bit of shopping and sight seeing. Fun opportunity to put into practice a bit of what we've been learning. I bought a nice black and white kuffiyeh and a Mahmoud Darwish book that I'll try to read (in Arabic of course) when I have some time.

After the excursion down town, I parted from the group and took a cab to the neighborhood of Abdoun to meet my contact from Ruwwad (May) and all the players going into organizing the summer camp I'll be working on the next two months. I finally got a bit of a better description of the camp and of my role in the whole process. Here goes:

The camp runs from July 7th until early August. There are four locations around Amman which will host the kids who mostly come from Jabal Nathif, a poor neighborhood south of the city center.
About 800 kids will be participating in activities including taekwondo, soccer, art, and dram.
My role is to report on the camps and help organize the coordinated reporting efforts of the camp director and all of the staff members. These other reports will all be in Arabic, which makes my job nice and interesting. I also get to help translate all the final reports from Arabic into English.
Part of my job includes photo and video documentation of the camp, which means I get to travel around to all the locations and just have fun with my cameras and then slap them together into some interesting videos, which I'll try to put up here if the bandwidth allows me.
The camp is sponsored by Queen Rania's School Initiative, so maybe she'll stop by, who knows?

Alright, I think that's enough for this post. Last night I went to church for the first time since arriving in Amman (many churches meet on Sundays, when I have class). I'll write about that awesome experience and my conversation with a couple Iraqi Christians in my next post. I hope everyone is doing well back in NC or wherever you're reading this from. Hit me up on facebook or skype and let me know how the summer is treating you so far. I'm gonna be gone way too long and don't want to lose touch with all of you.

سلام

2009-06-05T11:55:00.002-04:00

It's been a week in Jordan and I'm getting pretty nicely settled in. It's amazing how much my Arabic has improved in the last week. My two years of studying Arabic at UNC laid a great base, and now being surrounded by it I'm able to finally take off. I'm still working on my colloquial skills however, since a large number of people here don't actually speak the formal Arabic that I've been learning.

At Ali-Baba, my language school, it has been awesome having one-on-one instruction. This week our conversations took some very interesting turns and I had opportunities to discuss some incredibly difficult topics all in Arabic. My second day in class, I told my teacher about a research paper I did on the Palestinian political cartoonist Naji al-Ali (whose character, Handala, I now realize is on about every key chain here), and we launched into an hour long conversation about his work and the Israel-Palestine conflict. More than half the population of Jordan is Palestinian, so it's a pretty hot topic of conversation.

Yesterday, Obama gave his speech in Cairo to the Muslim World. I watched the whole thing, and really liked most of it. I feel like I basically have job security for a while given my interest in the middle east and specifically social entrepreneurship in the region (which Obama promised to support in the future). Additionally, I'm glad that a US president is finally standing up a bit to Israel and supporting a Palestinian state. After the speech, my job for the day was recounting what Obama said in Arabic. Somehow we got on the topic of religion, and I ended up explaining some of the finer points of Christian theology (most notably the trinity and the divinity of Jesus). Wow, it's hard enough trying to explain that stuff in English, try doing it in Arabic. It was a good conversation, and i hope that Senabel and I can have some more talks like that, maybe I'll ask her some questions about Islam. For now though, I'm glad it's the weekend. 4 hours of Arabic a day takes it out of you. Still no pictures, but I'll work on it.

3 nights in Amman

2009-06-02T03:58:00.003-04:00

Well I made it to Jordan, and after a couple days my bags decided to join me. I stayed with Tarek, a guy I met on couchsurfing, for the first three nights and yesterday I moved into a nice little apartment closer to my language school with Ryan, another American. I've got a little time before I head off to class for the next 4 hours and I figured I would put up a quick update on here.

Amman has been great so far. My Arabic is enough to get around with limited English (sometimes), and I have made a couple friends in the city through couchsurfing. I'm taking Arabic classes 4 hours a day, and then should be doing homework, but usually end up going out afterward. I'm still figuring out the general schedule here. Back home I'm used to having dinner around 6 and then starting up again around 8 for the evening. Here, it seems that a lot of people go out around 6 and then get dinner when they get back.

So far I have mostly been in the western part of Amman, near the university. This is the rich part of the city: the houses are pretty nice, the streets are decently clean, there are western sytle fast food places everywhere, and a lot of people are pretty well educated. However, in east Amman the conditions are a bit worse, that's where the refugee camps are and other lower class neighborhoods. I'm going on Sunday to talk to an organization called Ruwwad that I might be working with for the rest of the summer, volunteering with them in the camps. Still a lot of details to work out, but hopefully that will work out. I also might work some with my friend Haya who has a program teaching English in a refugee camp, and is currently in the 30 finalists for a contest sponsored by the Queen for social ventures in Jordan.

That's it for now. I'll try to get some pictures up now that I have my camera. I have internet access in my apartment, but it's really slow, so uploading pictures may take forever. I hope everyone is doing well wherever they are this summer. Keep me updated, I'm on facebook daily. I'll try to get some more meaty posts up once I have some things to think about (wait until the speech tomorrow maybe).

سلام (Peace),
ذانيل (Daniel)

24 Hours to Takeoff

2009-05-28T15:18:00.009-04:00

As I prepare to leave for Amman tomorrow, I frantically go over once again my checklists of the various things that I need to do before departing. I've finished my schoolwork for my maymester course, sent off tons of paperwork for my scholarship, I bought a new pair of shoes and a couple other odds and ends, and said goodbye to as many people as I could get a hold of these last few weeks. But I realized that I also needed to get back on here and brush the dirt off of my old posts and get ready to start blogging again for my upcoming trip. So here goes...

I will be in Amman, Jordan from this Saturday until Christmas Eve. My schedule includes a language course during the month of June, an internship for July and August (still working out the details on that), and a study abroad course from September until early December. I'm hoping to do a little bit of travel outside of Jordan during this time: independently to Syria, with my study abroad team to Egypt, and with my parents to Israel/Palestine. Still a lot of stuff to get figured out exactly, but time is running out and I hit the ground running tomorrow!

I'm really excited for this opportunity to live for 7 months in a foreign country. Unlike my past travels, this will be the first time that I am actively working on my language skills while abroad. Right now my Arabic is sufficient to get around (I hope), but come Decmeber I am excited to see where I will be. Academically, I'm looking forward the opportunity to do some research (and also some volunteering) related to the refugees living in Jordan (a ton of Palestinians and over half a million Iraqis). And in general, I'm thrilled to be making a lot of new friends over there, through my programs, travels, and couchsurfing.org (amazing site, check it out!).

That's all I've got for now, I'll post more once I get there. You can keep in touch with me while I'm gone through facebook, email (aadaniel@email.unc.edu) or skype (daniel_acker).
سلام (Peace),
Daniel

PS - Here are a couple of pictures from my trip with my brother and friends to Mexico over spring break, enjoy. (video from the trip can be found here)

She Must and Shall Go Free!

2009-01-28T23:55:00.002-05:00

"i can always tell a liar
and i always know a thief
i know them like my family
because brother i’m the chief
i’m a dangerous crusader
because i need to tell the truth
so i’m turning over tables
i’m my own living room
and i might nail indictments up
on every door in town
because it’s not right or safe to let my conscience down..."

I have shared with a couple people recently that my spiritual doubts in the last year have for the most part not revolved around various hot topics like the validity of scripture or the existence of God or the problem of evil. Instead, most of my doubting has focused on the Church: the body of Christ in this world, the Bride, the earthly manifestation of the Kingdom of God. Tonight, I sat down to listen to Derek Webb's album, She Must and Shall Go Free, a beautiful call for the redemption and freedom of the Church and a return to the purity fit for the Bride. I have interspersed some lyrics from the album into this post to help shape a few of my thoughts.

"but i found thieves and salesmen living in my father’s house
i know how they got in here and i know how to get ‘em out
i’m turning this place over from floor to balcony
and then just like these doves and sheep you will be set free"

As I read the scriptures, I see a beautiful message of Good News! God has sent his son as a sacrifice to cover over our sins. I see the Spirit of God guiding his people to create a beautiful new community (The Church) defined by a radical retooling of our lives together to reflect the example of Jesus Christ. No longer are we separated or classified by racial, socioeconomic or gender distinctions or barriers (although these realities have not disappeared). We are called to somehow love our enemies and share our possessions and seek greatness through humility. However, when I look around, I see the fear, isolation, division and condemnation that seems to drive the modern Church (at least in America), and I wonder where we went wrong?

"beloved these are dangerous times
because you are weightless like a leaf from the vine
and the wind has blown you all over town
because there is nothing holding you to the ground
so now you would rather be
a slave again than free from the law"

I feel that it is as appropriate a time as any to question what this whole Church thing should look like: whether that is on campus or in the community or around the world. I question seriously why the Church has forgotten or maybe just overly-spiritualized large parts of the New Testament. The Pit Preachers love to talk about masturbation and pre-marital hugging and the evils of sodomy, but when was the last time you heard Gary tell the students the importance of loving their enemies or selling their possessions and giving to the poor so that they can have purses that won't wear out (Luke 12:33).

"so could you love this bastard child
though i don’t trust you to provide
with one hand in a pot of gold
and with the other in your side
i am so easily satisfied
by the call of lovers less wild
that i would take a little cash
over your very flesh and blood

i am a whore i do confess
but i put you on just like a wedding dress
and i run down the aisle
i’m a prodigal with no way home
but i put you on just like a ring of gold
and i run down the aisle to you"

And in churches or fellowships, when a teacher or preacher is bold enough to suggest that perhaps the Bible actually speaks clearly to my messy relationship with money, or to how I treat people who do not look like me, or they suggest that bombing our enemies is not exactly what Jesus meant by loving them, people get up and leave. So I wonder whether we should focus on keeping seats filled or on actually getting into the difficult parts of the message of the Gospel. I heard once that the message of Christ "comforts the afflicted, and afflicts the comfortable." Right now I feel that I live in a comfortable society that doesn't want to be afflicted by the truth and depth of the Gospel.

"i’ve got the law on my heart
i’ve got your love tearing me apart
i’ve got a vow that i can’t keep
but i’ve got your promise getting me to sleep
i’ve got everything, but i’ve got nothing
without you
i’ve got your works, i’ve got my faith
i’ve got all the wine that you can make
i am the kiss of your betrayer
but i’ve got your grace on every layer
i’ve got everything, but i’ve got nothing
without you"

So here's the deal. I need to talk about this. I need to hear what people think. Some of you may think that I am crazy for bringing these questions up (maintain that status quo, don't ask questions). Some of you hopefully read this but are not Christians, and I would love to continue this conversation with you as well, because I think an outside perspective is incredibly important. Some of you may be struggling with the same questions and would like to flesh them out a bit more, I would love to continue the dialogue with you. What I'm saying is that I don't have answer, I just have some questions that I would love to discuss with anyone who is interested in talking to me. Let me know.

cause i haven’t come for only you
but for my people to pursue
you cannot care for me with no regard for her
if you love me you will love the church

My conclusion for the moment is this: I must continue to love the Church even as I question, and understand the depth of my own inadequacies. My deep questioning does not come from a need to condemn others, but to question my own relationship with God and with this world. My dad likes to share a story from an old church member who said, "I was searching for the perfect church until I realized that if I found the perfect church, I would join it, and it would no longer be perfect."

Lessons Learned From Moving

2009-01-05T23:26:00.006-05:00

I don't like moving. Not because of the sentimental value that you attach to the place where you live (especially for 14 years), but because it takes a heck of a lot of work to box everything up and move all of the wonderfully heavy furniture that you have accumulated over the years. Fortunately Advil is there to ease the pain.

However, in the midst of the stacks of boxes, frequent trips to the thrift shop to donate assorted junk, dozens of games of Settlers of Catan, and being kicked out of my room for the last week of break, I have been learning a lot through this process. A few thoughts:

- I have had many conversations in the last year about what it looks like to live out a life of discipleship obedient to the teachings and example of Jesus. The conclusion that I have begun drawing recently is that while the lofty goals of loving my enemy, intentional communal living or world peace are beautiful concepts, they are nothing if I cannot take the smaller, simpler, harder steps of loving the people around me daily. This break, I have learned a lot about loving my family. And it is difficult, but I realize that it is impossible to even begin to obey God if I cannot obey my own parents, and how can I love my enemies if I can't even love my brother and sister? I am currently reading The Politics of Jesus by Howard Yoder (amazing book!) and I do think that Jesus' message should radically transform the way that Christians live in their society and how we interact with the powers of this world, but still the greatest of these is love.

- Tonight I learned a little lesson in grace. This last semester, I came to realize that I frequently hold people to unrealistic standards and am not very gracious when they don't live up to them. Around the end of the semester I remember an episode which involved an unfortunate injury. A friend had been warned explicitly to be careful to avoid stepping on a certain sharp object, yet within minutes had succeeded in splitting open their foot. My reaction was not of compassion, but of disbelief that they wouldn't take head of such clear advice. And today, after being pretty explicitly warned, I managed to mangle my own foot on a set of floor tacks while taking up carpet. I guess it's good to have a lesson to take away from 4 tack holes in your left foot.

I'm sure that there is more to be learned, and I may put those lessons up as I think of them. Still a week to go before I head back to school. And despite the pain that will accompany the rapidly approaching midterms and late night Arabic work sessions, I'm really excited to head back!

It's been a while...

2008-12-26T00:52:00.009-05:00

It seems that it has been a full 5 months since I last updated this thing. I'm writing in the wee hours of December 26th, after a wonderful Christmas at home with the entire family (which won't be the case next year unfortunately), and directly after destroying the rest of the family in a game of Settlers of Catan (I got them hooked on a board game, wonderful for developing that competitive family spirit!). So last time I wrote it seems that I had just visited the Killing Fields of Cambodia, a rather sobering experience. I guess this post is simply an update from where I left off and a bit of a recapping of the year.

And 5 months has brought me a long way from there: to the temples of Angkor Wat the very next day, to Burma for an afternoon, to the top of a mountain in Hong Kong, and back home to Chapel Hill, through my third semester at UNC, into a new minor (Social Entrepreneurship), through another amazing concert with Psalm 100, and into the beginnings of a CD project. I have seen a lot of relationships really develop in this time, and have also been disappointed with my ability to keep in touch with many of my old friends. I have read a number of books (Brothers Karamazov, The Four Loves, some Rumi...) and have a ton more on my "to read / in the middle of" list (The Politics of Jesus, The Cost of Discipleship, and Hold the Enlightenment).

This semester: I've spent many nights up late drinking coffee and talking, but not as many as I would like. I've spent many nights up late studying Arabic before that next quiz, a few more than I would like, but it should pay off in Amman. I've spent way too many hours at the pool lifeguarding instead of sitting in the arboretum with a book or a friend, and I hope to correct that in the spring.

This year: I have been to 7 countries in Southeast Asia thanks to the Carolina Southeast Asia Summer program, I have learned a lot about the way that I react to people who are different from myself in both positive and negative ways, I have had the amazing opportunity to learn a ton from a family of Burmese refugees that I tutor.

Next year: I hope to be more intentional with those that are close to me (even if the distance between us is rather large), I plan to climb glacier mountains in Mexico with my brother, Steven, and to study abroad for the summer and fall in Amman, Jordan. While there, I will also do an internship with the group Questscope, hone my Arabic skills, and focus my studies on the Palestinian/Iraqi refugee problem (!إن شاء الله). I also hope to slow down a bit and spend less time being worried about my achievements and more time investing in the people around me (if you haven't noticed that's one of the lessons I have been learning this year).

I could go on for a while. I like to think I learned a lot this year. However, it's late and this is already getting long. More to come, I've been thinking a lot recently and I'll try to get up a more thought provoking post in the next week (gotta get regular again...). I hope everyone is having a wonderful break! I can't wait to catch up with some SB2W people next week and all my UNC friends in January. Just in time for my birthday! Get excited, it's gonna be an exhilarating spring!

(enjoy the dread-mullet!)

Briefing from the Killing Fields

2008-07-21T06:12:00.005-04:00

It has been an intense few days, kinda like camping, just a bit more serious and contemplative. In the last week I have visited a number of monuments and museums that commemorate some of the most horrendous acts carried out by mankind in the last 50 years. It has been quite an experience seeing reactions to the wars in Vietnam and Cambodia from the other side. I have learned a lot and been thinking a lot and been angry at times, and have been wondering how to mourn for these all of these slaughtered neighbors of mine as I walk between their mass graves. And how do I go forward, how do I follow Jesus' call to be a peace-maker in this world?

In Ho Chi Minh City, we went to the American War Museum and saw a lot of photo displays depicting the effects of the war: agent orange, the bombing of civilians in Hanoi, the burning of villages, and the slaughter of villagers. It was definitely a bit one sided in it's portrayal of the war, but it is I side that I needed to see. Looking back at my history classes, every required one ended at WWII or before. Only my elective class, contemporary world history, covered the Vietnam war at all (thank you Tito Craige!), and that by a teacher who was arrested multiple times for protesting during it. So I had a bit of exposure to the Vietnamese perspective, but nothing compares to being here for a bit and seeing some of the scars of the war, the scars that were left by my countrymen, every time I walk down the street and am approached by the deformed beggars still affected by Agent Orange.

This morning, we went to the Killing Fields outside of Phnom Penh, Cambodia. In 1975, as the result of a spillover war from Vietnam, the Khmer Rouge forced US troops out of Cambodia and started a bloody reign of terror. In the end over a million people were slaughtered to achieve their dream of a perfect, communist, agrarian society. It failed miserably to achieve any results except for starvation, broken families and a decimated country. At the memorial in Choeung Ek, we saw a pagoda full of hundreds of skulls from the victims of the Khmer Rouge's Killing Fields and then walked around the now empty mass graves. How does something like that happen? How can 1 million people be killed for an ideology? How does hell so easily come to earth? And yet we escalated the violence in order to prevent dominoes falling. We bombed the country side and in effect raised the troops for the very enemy we were fighting. Have we learned from our mistakes? Does Afghanistan or Iraq look any different? Or is it just another game of dominoes that we are playing and loosing and will eventually give up once we have mixed them all up sufficiently.

It was pretty powerful watching the movie, The Killing Fields, last night before our trip this morning. A bit like watching Hotel Rwandi while staying in Kigali. Check it out, it's a good movie, but not for the faint of heart. I have a lot of questions that have been raised by this trip, a lot of reading to do, and a lot of discussions that I hope to have especially searching to answers as to how something like this can be avoided in the future. There is no reason for genocide, it is all confusion and madness, but yet it continues, and the madness spreads. Life is made a living hell, but as a follow of Jesus I am called to pray for the kingdom to come, and for God's will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. So may our mission be to somehow bring some part of heaven to this earth. May it come to pass.

Good Morning Vietnam!

2008-07-18T03:14:00.003-04:00

It has been one wild week in Vietnam since I split up with the whole SEAS group. It was a bit rough traveling through Thailand with our group of 30+, and it has been really nice being down to a more manageable 4 people. So far no major setbacks, sicknesses, or injuries, and none to come in the next 3 weeks, inshallah!

Run down on the week:
- We pulled into Hanoi, the capital of Vietnam, on the night of the 12th. The 13th was spent wandering around the city on the backs of the motorbike taxis, walking down side streets, checking out the Ho Chi Minh Mauseleum, and Ho Loi Prison (the Hanoi Hilton, where John McCain was during the war). Really cool city, it was a ton of fun just walking around, seeing some side streets, and getting to know people around the hostel.

- Took a trip to Halong Bay through the hostel, it was amazing! I'll get pictures up sometime, but it's basically really cool rocks coming out of the ocean. We boated around, kayaked for a bit, and then spent the night on the boat. I loved the opportunity to meet some other travlers and swap stories and advice. It was great running into a ton of the people from the cruise in the rest of our travels: hung out with the London crew in Hoi An and then with Victoria in Saigon.

- Then down to Hoi An (half way down on the coast) by way of night bus. A bit of a crazy ride, but after a dramamine cocktail I was right out. Beautiful beach! Spent a whole day out in the sun, added a shade of pink to my back. I loved how all the Vietnamese locals swarmed to the beach as soon as it got cool around 5. Spent the night out with Dom, Tom, Jim, and Conrad from the cruise. Shouldn't have stayed out dancing until 3am when we had a 7am ride to the airport, but when Sweet Home Alabama comes on you just have to run back in and dance with the Vietnamese motor-taxi drivers.

- Flew down to Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City) on Friday, saved us a 20 hour bus ride. We went to the War Museum, quite a sobering experience seeing memories from the American War (or Vietnam War) from the other side. We really did a lot of crazy things over here, and you can still see the effects of it. Beggers affected by agent orange walk the streets of Saigon, deformed since birth. Every student in the US should learn about this, but instead we decide to stop history at WWII, when we won.

- Today, we took a tour to the Mekong Delta. Most tourist activity of our trip, but good fun. I figure that any trip I come back from with good pictures is well worth it.

- Tomorrow, we take a bus to Phnom Penh, Cambodia. A couple stops to look forward to there, mostly the killing fields, and then on to Angkor Wat and then to Thailand again!

So that's the short version, tons more to tell, and I can't wait to talk to everyone else about their wild summer adventures! I'm sorry I can't get a ton of internet access here, we're moving a lot, but I will try to reply to everyone as I can. Vietnam was a blast, you should all come sometime! Good night Vietnam!

Last Night In Bangkok (for a bit)

2008-07-11T03:22:00.002-04:00

Wow, it is really difficult to keep in touch with people while traveling. I try to get online just long enough to check my email, but with the hotel trying to charge 50 cents a minute, it's hard to spend much time replying to everything. So I'm sorry for anyone who has not heard from me for a bit enough though I promised to get back to you, I've been a bit preoccupied.

Last night, I finally got word that my visa had gone through for Vietnam, and good timing as we are arriving tomorrow night in Hanoi! So that was a big relief, also found a place to keep our bags for free. Things have really been falling in place this week, which taught me a lot about anxiety and trusting God to provide. Yesterday, before those two things had worked out I was freaking out a bit. But then I thought, what is the worst that can happen? I thought about the part of the sermon on the mount where Jesus tells us not worrying, but to know that we are loved by God and will have our needs provided for. Also, every time I travel I try to remember James 4:13-17 and not boast about what I will be doing tomorrow.

I'm sorry that this is a bit rushed and not incredibly coherent. I'm in an internet cafe in Bangkok next to an arcade and a karaoke bar, so the noise is a bit intense. I'll try to put in another update from Hanoi in the next few days.

A time to rest...

2008-06-29T10:08:00.005-04:00

I'm on my last week here in Singapore, wow that went by way too fast. And the strangest part is that my trip is less than half way done! I still have Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, and Hong Kong to go, but only another 2 weeks with the whole team. It has been a wonderful first half of the summer. I want to go ahead and thank all of you who have been reading my very random posts on this thing, and everyone who has been engaging in some amazing conversations with me on facebook messages/skype/emails, and for those of you that have been praying for me while I'm gone, you all know who you are and you are all so very wonderful!

I don't have a ton of insight to share with you this week except this: there is a time for everything, including a time for rest. God is very specific with the Israelites about how he wants them to rest regularly, a wonderful command which somehow got turned into a burden. I have been learning a lot the last few days about my own neglect for rest and seeing how my intellectual pursuits of how to live can sometimes negatively affect my own living of that life (if that made any sense).

This morning, I jumped on the MRT and made my way to the Every Nations church of Singapore. My friend Brian recommended it, and I figured I should check it out before I leave (friday!). The first thing that I realized is how awkward it is to show up to a new church completely alone. I've visited a number of churches, but always either with a member escorting me or at least with other visitors. This was the first time in my life that I have ever just shown up at a church by myself just to see what happened. I met a few people on the way in after standing around awkwardly for a few minutes, and then sat down next to some nice guys from Sierra Leone.

No need to share about the whole service (except it was a bit different than the traditional Anglican service I attended last week), but I will say that the thing which most impacted me was something the worship leader said about resting in the love of God. And I realized that while I have been searching a lot recently for truth and trying to figure out how to live my life as a response to the call of Jesus, I have not been resting much or remembering the love of God. In seeking obedience, I found my own form of legalism. In trying to follow, I forgot to rest.

So this week I am going to try to rest a bit. That said, I have 3 papers and 2 exams to do in the next 3 days. And after that it's a whole ton of travel. It should be a wonderful experiment in rest taking.

One last thing, I am going to have a bit less internet in my travels, but I would still love to hear from all of you. Here is a general itinerary of where I will be the next month or so in case you are interested:
July 4th - Leave Singapore
July 4th-12th - Thailand (Chang Mai and Bangkok)
July 12th-21st - Vietnam
July 21st -25th - Cambodia
July 25th-August 4th - Thailand again
August 4th-8th - Hong Kong
August 9th - Back home!

(the pictures are from the Chinese Gardens, where I wrote the ants poem below, one of my few days of rest here)

Ants

2008-06-26T04:05:00.006-04:00

sitting alone by the water,
ants cover my feet,
moving slowly,
working quickly,
carrying the remains of fallen warriors

back home,
to show the queen,
the triumphs of her brood

comrades,
bound by duty,
seeking no fame,
there is no room for honor,
in the crowded subterranean halls,
where they find refuge

only obedience,
to a higher authority,
they stay the course,
fueled onward,
never ending,
by the thick nectar of,
esprit de corps

they gain momentum,
mandibles quivering,
dragging brothers,
all together,
only distracted by the cracks in the stone pathway,
which, like trenches on a barren battlefield,
hinder their retreat

and from above it seems so pointless,
the endless movement of waring regimes,
for their queens these ants keep marching,
for their queens they return with the spoils of war

fighting on for scarce resources,
fighting on the basis of colored carapaces,
fighting on for no clear reason,
for this is the way it has always been done

and from above i wonder,
what we must look like from above

A lovely and not overly insightful day...

2008-06-21T11:17:00.010-04:00

I nearly ran over a python today while hurtling down a hill on a bicycle. Yeah, it was just that kind of a day. Let me explain:

- We began the day with a visit to the Changi POW museum. Not a whole lot to say about the museum itself, it was a very solemn place, but it has been eye opening seeing WWII from the other side of the ocean. Singapore, and the rest of SE Asia, was occupied by the Japanese shortly after Pearl Harbor. The occupation is still very present in the collective memory of people here, mostly because of the rampant persecution, torture, and slaughter of the primarily Chinese population here. It is weird to see a people who hail the dropping of the atomic bombs as the act of their liberation compared to the questioning in American history of whether it was the appropriate action. All I'm saying is everything has multiple perspectives, and it can be rather enlightening to step outside your own for a bit.

- Most of the day was spent at this little island next to Singapore called Pulau Ubin. We rented some mountain bikes and took off for a few hours of adventure. The great thing was that we split up so that we didn't have to lumber around in our usual group of 25+, which just makes transportation difficult. I spent most of the afternoon riding around with Elliot, Raley, and Patrick. We got a bit adventurous and took on the mountain bike park on the island. This is where that whole python thing came in. After a while riding around on the easy trails in the park, we decided to try out one of the "Black Diamond" courses. (Mother, skip this sentence) Maybe not the best idea given the lack of helmets and relative sketchiness of the bikes, but you only get to do this sort of stuff once. (appropriate for my mom to continue reading) It was a really cool trail, some great downhill sections, and at the bottom of one of them we came across the dead python seen in the picture above. I had just enough time to get out my camera before Elliot came down the hill and freaked out. Anyway, it was a really cool experience. I loved the bit of freedom that we had within a larger group activity, sometimes the need to stick to a big group makes stuff kinda difficult.

- Finally, we spent the evening at the final event of the Singapore Arts Festival (which hosted stuff like Radio and Juliet). It was called Hydro-Sapiens, and was one of the most bizarre things that I have ever seen. I can't really explain it, but just check out the video below, it's from the very end of the performance.

This is getting old...

2008-06-18T08:55:00.008-04:00

(Oh yeah, two new posts today)
I was reading a few articles today by New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof. You may know him for some of his really powerful on the ground pieces from places like Darfur, Tibet, and other hot spots around the world. In one of his articles about the worsening conditions in the Central African Republic, a neighbor to Sudan's Darfur region, I noticed a very critical reply which ran something like this:

"Nick, Your thing seems to be righteous indignation. I find that a very cheap way to feel superior. Can’t you find a new shtick? Yes, it’s all very sad, tragic even. So what’s new? You bore me."

What sticks out most to me is the last sentence. You bore me. How have stories of genocide, destruction, group rape, and kidnapped children become boring to the audience? The article relates an aid worker's account of 1164 reported rape cases in a year (and probably many more unreported cases) in a country with a population of only 4 million. The youngest victim was 4 years old. And many of the rapes are performed by armed groups of 6-7 or as many as 18 men. That isn't boring, that is ridiculous!

Yet, unless something is new (like natural disasters, election results, or kittens being stuck in trees), it is difficult for it to grab people's attention. Stories can only be run for a few days before they become old news. This means that entrenched situations lose all focus because they move so slow and the population's attention quickly turns to more interesting updates. It is very difficult to keep people attentive to problems that are systemic and not just a single event which is easy to cover with a news team.

Also, people can only handle so much reality. At least I think this is true for the majority of Americans living in the safety and security of our own country. It is difficult to even comprehend the truth of the destruction and pain being experienced in these various "hells on earth," and after a little while it is easier to just give up and be bored than to care. Caring means being moved to action, and action is hard to maintain when you don't see quick results from your efforts. It may be easy to go to a concert for Free Tibet or Darfur awareness because we want to see the band they bring in, but it takes a bit more effort to be informed, assertive with your rights as a citizen (letters to congress and such), and to actually take steps to in some way see situations actually changed.

Finally, there has to come a realization that we can't do everything. You can't be educated fully about every issue. You can't just throw money at every problem. And if you try it will become overwhelming. I understand the frustration of the guy who replied to Kristof's article. What am I supposed to do about this? So there is another place going through some crazy shit, what do I care? My only response is that "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." (Matt. 19:26)

When I turn to the words of Jesus about the suffering of this world, I see how we are to pray: for God's kingdom to come and his will to be done on earth as it is in heaven (Matt. 6:10). Looking around at this world, it is easy to see that this has not been the case in many places. In fact there is a lot of hell breaking out on earth. Where are the peace-makers? And let's not restrict peace to the absence of violence, it's much better understood as an active fruit of the Spirit.

As the Body of Christ, the universal church is called to action. Also, it seems like Jesus is pretty specific about how we should act, check out the sheep and goats parable in Matthew 25:31-46, and John the Baptist instructed his listeners to share their second cloaks and their excess food (Luke 3:11). Also, I referenced 1 Timothy 2:1-6, which instructs us to pray for the leaders of this world that we may live in peace, in my Burma post.

So I don't have answers to the question of what to do, but I am searching. I think that search will probably take a while, and I don't expect to ever have a definite answer. I know that the wrong response is apathy. I know that I am called to follow Jesus, I know that God loves those who suffer in this world, and I trust that he will lead me in a path that will allow me to in some way affect the least of these. As with all of my posts, I am not an authority on anything, just a fellow seeker. I would love to hear what people think about this, or ways that other people have found to react to the suffering in our world.

I close with one of my favorite passages from Isaiah:

"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice, and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free, and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide shelter - when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?"
-Isaiah 58:6-7

Malaysia, Crony Capitalism, and Cool Hats!

2008-06-18T08:20:00.006-04:00

Just a quick post on my recent excursion into Malaysia. My group crossed the strait for 4 days to experience a bit of what life is like in Malaysia and to take a little break from the classroom. We went to a mangrove forest (with even more monkeys), had lunch at a random fishing town (I ate a tasty fish eye ball and some baby teriyaki squid), spent a couple nights in historic Melaka, were ushered around like children by a tourist company, and went for a bike ride through some palm oil and rubber plantations.

I found the trip a very insightful glimpse into the general workings of business in many parts of Asia, specifically crony capitalism. This practice bases business transactions of relationships with family and friends. So if you are our crazy travel guide, Eddy, then you take us to all your friends' spots and make us get out and eat. We don't complain because we're getting fed, and you get a nice little kick back. Eddy conveniently knew everyone personally wherever we stopped, and I'm pretty sure there was a fair amount of financial transactions going on behind the scenes.

One example: we did a "leisure hunt" around Melaka, and on it had to try out a local dessert. It didn't specify what, but apparently the only way to get the "bonus points" for this task was to go to a certain stand and all get a dessert, which I'm pretty sure he charged us an extra 30 cents for. And you wonder where that extra 30 cents goes? and why they wouldn't could a group going to another stand? It's all about reciprocal relationships.

This isn't always a horrible thing, I mean our other tour guide took us over to her cousin's shop and gave us a little sample and showed us how they baked some special cookies, but she was very insistent on taking us to this shop so we could just look around...

Another thing, I thought our bike ride was especially funny because it was essentially the same thing as a bunch of Asian tourists coming to rural North Carolina and taking a bike ride in the crazy summer heat through a nice tobacco field. Who would do that? But when you're on vacation in Malaysia it's perfectly normal to go for a traipse through the cash crops. I love biking (prefer downhill though), but just found this idea funny when I looked at it in reverse.

Elliot, Katie, and I found a pretty cool local shop among all of the overly tourist oriented stalls of the market. Granted, we did have to ask around and get led there on a 10 minute walk by the shop owner's daughter. But we came away from the journey with some cool Malay hats and scarves, and a nice opportunity to have a short conversation with a local besides crazy ole Eddy.

More to come soon, I just finished The Problem of Pain (C.S. Lewis), and am starting up the Cost of Discipleship (Bonhoeffer), so lots of good things to discuss. More pictures from Malaysia and other adventures are up on facebook, so check those out!

I love Muzak (and other random thoughts from Singapore)

2008-06-10T11:16:00.008-04:00

I was sitting in a little cafe today on campus (National University of Singapore, where I'm studying), and intermingled with the usual din of conversations and chatter ubiquitous to coffeehouses the world over, I noticed the faint melody of a recognizable song. Upon further investigation, I realized that I was in fact listening to a popular refrain from Disney's "Beauty and the Beast" rendered helpless by the underwhelming powers of Muzak!

It seems that Westernization has brought not only Coke, Starbucks, and McDonald's to the far reaches of the globe, but also Muzak, also known as elevator music. I was quickly attuned to the subtle presence of some well known tunes (for instance: I Will Always Love You, I Do It For You, Your Song, and Don't Wanna Miss a Thing) all set to the background of strings and the soloist skills of a poorly paid studio saxophonist. It was actually pretty comical, and a real indicator or the spread of Western influence into the deepest levels of society abroad.

Another example: the lack of local Singaporean talent in the music industry. Instead, local bands (a fair share in a population of 5 million) mostly resort to covering American/British popular bands in order to draw attention and fund their own endeavors. I have gone twice to a venue here called Wala Wala to see a wonderful cover band called The Unexpected. I was really surprised to see the extensive knowledge that the Singaporean audience had (displayed by requests and raucous singing along with the songs) of American popular music. For me, the highlight of both nights was a room full of locals (and a couple of us Americans) rocking out to Rage Against the Machine's "Killing in the Name Of," skillfully and powerfully performed by the Unexpected's lead vocalist Shirlyn Tan. (the picture is of my group with Shirlyn, middle).

Of course I am only observing the very surface of these issues and can speak only from a small amount of speculation, but music can be a real indicator of deeper cultural undercurrents.

Next topic: Monkeys. Yeah random right? So here's the deal: Singapore is this little Island with like 5 million people on it. Land is super valuable and everything is about 5+ stories (completely different than Chapel Hill). Yet, they have managed to maintain a decent number of natural reserves on the island where nature is allowed to run free (with nice little paths and such of course) and along with nature comes monkeys.

Which is totally awesome! Somehow they seem to stay restrained to their natural areas and don't like coming much more than a few hundred yards out of the forest, but never-the-less, only minutes from the city center is a fairly large rain forest that is home to at least a few dozen ( at least what we saw) little monkeys. And this is just one of a handful of reserves, some larger. So it is promising that nature has been able to thrive so close to the presence of a large population of humans, but also shows the complete dominance over nature practiced by humans the world over.

For instance, Singapore has recently increased their land size by nearly a third (check me on that) through ocean reclamation. I mean they just stick dirt in the ocean and then build on top of it, that's pretty hardcore domination of nature. Not a judgment call, but shows man's power to alter his environment. So I have been pleasantly surprised to see so much of nature preserved in this little country as well as lots of parks and green areas in this "Garden City." (picture: the forest through the trees)

That's it for now, check out facebook for more monkey pictures, they're pretty cute.

Jesus and the Tatmadaw (how to respond to evil rulers?)

2008-06-06T12:12:00.005-04:00

Singapore is still trucking along. We just finished our first full week of class, had the first quiz, got assigned the first paper, all that good stuff that I thought I left behind when I finished exams. However, I'm loving the subjects: history of SE Asia and political and economic change in SE Asia. We are just finishing a unit on Burma's political/economic situation which leaves very little hope, but I am incredibly excited about our group meeting with the exiled democracy leaders from the country while we are in Thailand.

Please keep the people of Burma (the name Myanmar is really only imposed on them by the Tatmadaw, or military leaders) in your prayers as they continue for the next few years to try to recover from the cyclone. Not only is the government not doing anything, they are stopping other groups (even monks) from helping, and have started kicking people out of shelters back to their destroyed villages. There is a horrible tendency for the media/governments/people to care about stuff so long as it is breaking news, but never bother to see problems through to their end. (watch Charlie Wilson's War for more on this)

There is not going to be change in Burma until the military leaders have a change of heart (which is where you come in). Paul tells Timothy in his first letter to him to make "requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving...for everyone - for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness." (1 Timothy 2:1-2) So I encourage all of you to be informed (about this and all the other crazy things that are going on in this world) and to actually take up those causes in prayer (Especially in cases like Burma where there is hardly anything else that you can do).

As a Christian, I am called to pray for the Lord's will to be done "on earth as it is in heaven," and also to be a part of the "body of Christ" (ie part of what God is doing here and now to bring heaven to earth), and peacemakers get the pretty cool title of "Sons (or Daughters) of God." So where the earth has been made a living hell, how can we bring heaven? The answer is definitely through prayer, and then there needs to be the follow up of acting on God's response. I think that a lot of people, myself included more often than not, discount the power of prayer because they tacitly assume that through prayer God will make stuff magically happen (miracles do occur, but they aren't the norm).

Instead, I think that when we ask God why he isn't doing something about the state of the world, he asks us the same question. Is my life making the world better for those around me? Am I actually loving my neighbor as myself? Am I loving my enemies too? even when they persecute me do I pray for the? Am I humble? Do I consider others better than myself? Do I speak out against injustice like the prophets? Or do I blindly follow in corrupt paths to quick wealth and security? My life should be a blessing to everyone around me.

But is it?

Especially to the non-Christian readers out there, I want to apologize for my many failings and general inability to actually follow the teachings and the example of Jesus. I want to apologize for the Church's tendency to focus on the specks that everyone else is dealing with while ignoring the plank in their own eye. Any follower of Jesus should naturally bless the lives of those they encounter, and if that has not been the case then I'm sorry. I hope that the gospel can truly be good news to the whole world, not just a checklist to the "elect" or good news only to those who believe it. In the same way that Israel was set apart to be a blessing to others (Genesis 12:2-3), so too should Christians seek to be a blessing to others, not a hindrance.

Alright, well I ended up rather far from where I intended to go with this, but I hope you enjoyed it. I have a busy weekend ahead of me: homestay with my wonderful Singaporean friend, Yong Min. And then back to the grind: Vietnam next week (which is exciting b/c i'll be there in a month an a half). As always, I really want to hear reactions or questions about all of this, because I'm on a journey and trying to figure things out as I go.

ps - I'm really excited that our group has an opportunity to talk to a bunch of the pro-democracy leaders from Burma, who are currently exiled in Thailand, while we are in Chang Mai in early July. I'll make sure to post a follow up on some of this after talking to them and also after visiting Mae Sot (a refugee town on the border) and potentially popping into Burma for a day.

Radio and Juliet

2008-06-03T22:42:00.003-04:00

Picture this: an urban, modern, Slovenian retelling of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet performed in the style of modern ballet, but all done to the music of Radiohead, oh and depicted in reverse. Needless to say, it was incredible!

My favorite part was the wildly (yet precise) choreographed fight scenes, and especially the death of Mercucio. It was a passionate display of dance that both told the story of Romeo and Juliet and drew upon some of the poignant themes of Radiohead's music, such as the opening and the wedding scenes being set to the lyrics of "Fitter Happier," a feeling-less diatribe on how to be fitter and happier which leaves us:

calm,
fitter,
healthier and more productive
a pig
in a cage
on antibiotics.

The performance was part of the Singapore Arts Festival, a month long series of performances from a plethora of genres, regions, and time periods. My friend Leah, who went with me to see Radio and Juliet, commented on the significance of the piece drawing from so many diverse backgrounds and on top of everything being premiered in Asia. With the festival, my group is going to another show on Friday and hopefully a few more before the closing ceremony in late June.

Check out these links to some videos of the performance:
1) Flashback / fight scene
2) Group dance with changing Romeos (to Idioteque)

Week #1: Just the Beginning...

2008-06-02T10:51:00.008-04:00

So by the time I finish writing this post I will have been in Singapore for exactly one week! I am seriously amazed that I have only spent 7 days in this crazy, beautiful, hot, humid, crowded, green, tropical island, and skyscraper filled city/country. My group has kept itself pleasantly busy with multiple welcome dinners, orientation, trips into the city, visits to Little India, Chinatown, Arab Street, recovering from 12 hours of jet lag, and of course classes. I'll try to give you a quick update on what's been going on recently without going into too much detail, and I'll mention a couple themes which I hope to keep exploring all summer.

Recap: Just got back from the Singapore vs. Uzbekistan World Cup qualifier game. Singapore lost in a tragic 7-3 defeat, but awesome opportunity to experience a football game in a foreign country. I kind of enjoy being part of the crowd here (although 25 Americans walking together does draw attention, and my hair catches a few strange looks).

Check my pictures on Facebook for a better idea of the places we've been, I have just about everything up on there from the week (3 albums worth). However, on Saturday I decided to leave the camera at home and enjoy the city just for the moment, not worrying about documenting everything. We went to a cool event downtown called VietFest, celebrating Vietnamese culture, music, and food. The night included a stop at Wala Wala, a club nearby our residence that plays live music. We rocked out to a very cool local cover band, The Unexpected, and my group enjoyed dancing and singing along at the top of our lungs despite the strange looks we got from people around us.

The thing that has hit me most this week, besides the heat each time I step out of the A/C, is the interesting mix of cultures, ethnic groups, and religions in Singapore. The country has 3 main ethnic groups: Chinese (76%), Indian (7%), and Malay (15%). In many parts of the country the population is very well integrated and diversified. However, yesterday I went to Little India and was surprised when I stepped off the train to find the normal diversity lost in a crowd of almost entirely Indian faces. This is partially caused by the influx of foreign workers, but still sticks out in a city that has tried so hard to integrate it's diverse populations into a single people.

I'm excited to learn more about the recent history of Singapore in my classes the next few weeks while we also study political and economic change in the region of South East Asia. It's only been 3 days of class, but good stuff is coming up already. I also hope to comment later on in my blog postings about a question I have been asking myself recently in light of our reading: which is more important: liberal (free) democracy or economic/political stability? I'd love to hear any preemptive thoughts on that or responses to the rest of this post. For now I leave you with a few pictures!

Dreadlocks F.A.Q.

2008-05-30T12:18:00.003-04:00

Ok, so before I get on with some stories about how crazy/amazing the first week in Singapore has been I figured I'd put up a quick frequently asked questions section about my newly acquired dreadlocks:

Q: Do you wash your hair / shower?
A: Yes. I have some sort of fancy dread soap from Dread Head HQ which I use to wash my dreads but which won't leave a residue, like normal shampoo does, which would break them apart. I am still hygienic, especially when the weather is frequently rocking the high 90's all day long here in Singapore.

Q: Did you just let that happen? (how did you do it?)
A: I didn't just stop washing my hair and wait for them to grow in. That is possible, but would take way too long and would be kinda nasty along the way. Instead, I spent about 10 hours with a friend, Laura, at my brother's college, Brevard, putting them in. Basically a ton of back brushing and wax later you have nice little baby dreadlocks. More on the above site for how to do it.

Q: Why the hell would you do that to your hair?
A: That's a good question. I'm still figuring that one out, but I figured while I had my hair this long why not try it out for a summer.

I'm sure there are other questions out there, but hopefully this quick guide covers some of the basic questions that many of you have had about my nappy, dreaded, and waxy locks. If you have more specific questions slap them in that comment box and i'll get to them soon. And check back for some sort of legitimate update on what is going on after 4 days here in Singapore (or just check my photos, given that they are 1000 words a pop they should keep you occupied for a while).

-Daniel

Singapore - 3...2...1...go!

2008-05-23T09:55:00.002-04:00

As many of you know, I am heading off this summer for Singapore (and other parts of Southeast Asia). The program I am with is basically a summer school program through UNC that takes 25 freshmen and a couple professors to Singapore for 7 weeks to live, learn, and experience life in a different culture, environment, and quite literally on the other side of the world. I will also be spending about 3 weeks at the end of the trip backpacking around SE Asia and Hong Kong, more info on that as we figure it out.

And now, I come down to my final days in the US. I leave on Sunday morning at 6am for about 30 hours of travel and layovers and trying to sleep on the airplanes (thank you benadryl). And then while struggling to overcome 12 hours of jet lag, I start classes next week! It should be an amazing summer with tons of stories, pictures, and experiences to share with you all. So I invite you to check back this summer for updates on my travels which will be posted (along with other ramblings) on this blog as well as on our group blog which you can find here. Both will hopefully be updated weekly.

If you have any more questions about what I am doing, why, or what sort of souvenir I can pick up for you in Thailand, just let me know and I'll try to get back to you.

Have a fantastic summer!

The Myth of "Redemptive Violence"

2008-05-18T02:57:00.001-04:00

Ok, so this may be a weird way to start off my blog, but the subject of redemptive violence (definition below) has sort of been on my mind recently. Last week I was at a retreat with my campus ministry, InterVarsity. I was taking a course where we looked at Jesus' Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7) and had some very interesting talks about what it meant to follow Jesus' message as citizens of the Kingdom of God when so much of it starkly contrasts the message that the world is feeding us.

One teaching in particular stuck out to me: "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." (Matthew 5:43-44)

In one of our discussions, I asked our leader, "If Jesus tells us to love our enemies, then can Christians conscientiously take part in or support a military that seems to be so effective at killing our enemies?" This received a few laughs from some members of the group, and also a bit of a surprised look from the panel fielding our questions. However, the answers were equally surprising to me.

Essentially, most of the panel members took it for granted that the use of force was necessary to establish "good" in this world over the corrupt forces of "evil" that face us. And because we live in America, this "good" includes the American armed forces. Now please don't think that my criticism is against the American military in general. My argument, however, is that the Church, grounded in Jesus' teachings, should not be deceived by the myth of redemptive violence and so easily accept and encourage the use of force to solve the problems that plague this world.

No matter how many smart bombs we drop, we are idiots if we think that violence will by itself end the "war on terror."

So, after getting all worked up about this at 2am, I looked up an incredibly insightful article by Walker Wink (who coined the term "redemptive violence"). In his article, "Facing the Myth of Redemptive Violence," Wink defines this idea as "the story of the victory of order over chaos by means of violence." He cites the creation story of the Babylonians, the cartoons that we watched as children, and the plots of most of our bestselling books and movies (especially in the latest superhero craze) as sources and culminations of the long standing idea that security is insured by violent means.

I highly encourage you to read the article that I linked, it isn't too long and Wink does a much better job explaining his point than I can summarizing. Basically, our popular belief and cultural narrative is that the hero (who we identify with) will go through various trials and failures brought on by their enemy (who we are made to disassociate with) until they arrive at the final battle, where, miraculously, he (or she) manages to vanquish their evil foe by the use of force, and triumphantly the whole crowd cheers and everyone lives happily ever after.

My brother played a song for me this week by Todd Snider called "Tension." In the first verse he sings:
After the bad guy killed off all the underdeveloped characters
The good guy put a bullet right through his head
The screenwriter stood up and told us that all the loose ends had been
tied, justice is irrelevant
Violent problems need violent solutions
'Cause in America we like our bad guys dead

This romanticized view of violence is not how the world works. There are not super-heros and super-villians. As we have seen in recent years, wars against such vague entities as drugs, terrorism, and even homelessness tend to be easily conceptualized, but hard and messy to carry out in any actually beneficial way. But never the less we continue down the path of violence that we have been indoctrinated in since birth. Hoping beyond all hopes that we can end the violence in this world by just one more act of violence.

Wink concludes his articles by saying that "redemptive violence gives way to violence as an end in itself. It is no longer a religion that uses violence in the pursuit of order and salvation, but one in which violence has become an aphrodisiac, sheer titillation, an addictive high, a substitute for relationships. Violence is no longer the means to a higher good, namely order; violence becomes the end."

As I look at the American church and our blind acceptance of the validity of our military's mission in far flung parts of the world, I wonder if we have taken Jesus' words to heart. Jesus knew that the church would be persecuted and he told them to pray for those that persecuted them, but never to respond to violence with more violence. In fact Jesus' instructions are to "not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also" (Matthew 5:39).

Non-violence is not weakness. Look at Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr, they confronted two of the mightiest powers of this world with radical non-violence and won! What if Christians everywhere took up the same banner of love instead of hatred? What if we "beat our swords into ploughshares...[and didn't] train for war any more"? (Micah 4:3) Instead the American church tends to fuel an ever growing military machine, putting our hope in advanced weaponry instead of in the power of God.

I would like to close with a lyric from Derek Webb. If you have stuck with me through all of this, thank you, sometimes I get carried away when I'm caffeinated into the early hours of the morning. I would love to hear your thoughts, but I am finally coming to a close. So here goes, it's from a song called "My Enemies are Men Like Me":

peace by way of war is like purity by way of fornication
it’s like telling someone murder is wrong
and then showing them by way of execution

how can i kill the ones i’m supposed to love
my enemies are men like me
i will protest the sword if it’s not wielded well
my enemies are men like me